DARLINGTON — Anyone who takes a drive down Main Street in Darlington will see purple ribbons tied to signs, poles, trees, benches, in store-front windows, and appropriately tied to the Pharmacist statue outside of Hartig Drug. The purple ribbons represent more than Domestic Violence Awareness Month; they serve as reminders of a young woman the community continues to mourn. Katie Kieffer was 35 years old when her life was taken on Saturday, September 19.
For nearly a month, her young son Rolan has missed his mother, and the Kieffer family continues to grieve their daughter, sister, and aunt.
Her father, Joseph “Joe” Kieffer, provided details of her story and an update as to how the family is coping in a recent interview with the Republican Journal.
“We have our moments,” Joe Kieffer said. “We have good days and some really tough days. One thing that has helped ease some of the pain is the outpouring of support from the community, and the many ways people have reached out to our family. We appreciate seeing all of the purple ribbons, all of the photos, memories, cards, letters, phone calls, text messages, conversations, hugs, prayers, donations, and especially hearing how Katie has touched other people’s lives. The Erickson Funeral Home and Father William Vernon really allowed us to grieve, and helped us in so many ways. This isn’t something anyone can prepare for.”
Katie grew up in Darlington, enjoying life outdoors, oftentimes from the driver’s seat of a vintage tractor. She graduated from Darlington High School in 2009; with a group of friends she continued to form close bonds with over the years. She enjoyed spending time with family. Katie remained true to who she was, and admitted often to being her daddy’s daughter, with whom she shared many similar interests.
“The other day I was listening to some good music as I was out driving, then all at once it occurs to me that I just lost my dancing partner,” Joe said. “Katie was always ready to get out there and dance. She liked to enjoy herself and made it a point to have fun.”
Katie wasn’t afraid to enjoy life. She liked being in the community, surrounding herself with the many close bonds that she formed with several people. She found the most happiness when she became a mother to her son, Rolan, Joe said. Not only did she find purpose in caring for his needs, but she also cherished getting to know him, and the person he was growing up to be. Everything about him brought joy to her heart.
Her job as a Pharmacist Technician at Hartig Drug was fulfilling as well. Katie liked talking with people over the counter and also enjoyed making home deliveries. Her caring nature also served patients while at her previous employment at Lafayette Manor in Darlington and Bloomfield Manor in Dodgeville. She served as the Secretary of the Pecatonica Valley Antique Club and volunteered for each ‘Antique Days’ events. Katie’s communication skills often reached individuals who others found challenging. She wasn’t the kind of person to hold a grudge, nor could she be upset for very long. It was with her kind heart that she gave people the benefit of the doubt.
Katie was also a private person, Joe said. She didn’t share a lot of her personal struggles with others. Her journal revealed that she was good at documenting incidents and keeping track of important details, especially as it related to her situation with the individual who would eventually end her life, a former boyfriend.
Her family said he was a low-effort individual who always tried to make her feel as though she were the problem. When details were later revealed, though the journal and court records, the reality was much worse than what people knew.
The journal revealed she endured years of psychological abuse, which escalated, over time, into physical abuse. Her whereabouts were constantly tracked and questioned without cause.
On Saturday, September 19, Kieffer went to a Cuba City address to drop off Rolan. The Grant County Sheriff’s Office said when she got out of her car, the ex-boyfriend shot her with a handgun and then turned the gun on himself.
Open records of an upcoming court date revealed the ex-boyfriend was being charged with battery, criminal damage to property, and stalking; which were only reported to police in recent months.
“I wish she would have started talking about it earlier,” Joe shared. “Katie went through a lot, and most of it wasn’t reported. When she called the police and he was arrested, there should have been mandatory therapy or an evaluation that went with it, so maybe this could have been prevented. Katie was more than a statistic; she was a person. She didn’t deserve what happened to her.”
Katie is remembered in her hometown community as kind, generous, forgiving, sweet-natured, loving, honest, compassionate, thoughtful, and gentle-natured. Her smile was infectious, Joe said, helping to ease the burden of a difficult day for a lot of people who she came into contact with. She is an example that nobody ever really knows what someone is going through, even when they carry a smile upon their face.
Katie was, in the truest sense, a blessing to those who knew her. Her smile and kind words were always used to lift people’s spirits. If she were here today, Joe said, she would “remind you that your story matters.”
“If what she went through sounds familiar, please reach out and talk to someone. It might be happening to someone you know, a friend or family member; or it could be slowly happening to you. Resources are available, so no one has to face the situation alone,” Joe said. “She was a dear friend to all who knew her.”
