I was alive when the planes crashed into the towers but I have no memory of it. I  was only two. Growing up, everyone told me they could remember everything about that day from the coffee they had to the minute they heard or saw what had happened. I’ve read countless textbooks and various news articles about the event. Everything I know about 9/11, I have learned secondhand.

2,996 lives were taken. Even more injured. As much as I would like to name all of the people, I do not have the space nor the knowledge to do them justice. You can’t completely sum up any individual let alone nearly 3,000+ in words. There are so many different aspects to one’s identity that I could not cover it all. Focusing on one person isn’t justice either as so many need their stories told. So many were impacted, directly or indirectly. Families lost loved ones, lost physical wellness, and lost sense of security.

People my age have told me stories of the vague memories they recall. They can picture their parents crying while watching the tv or hugging their parent’s leg. I sometimes wonder if they remember it or if they have been told it so many times that their memories become fact. I’ve heard some say even if they don’t recall the exact event, they recall a shift in their inner circle. People became more anxious and less trusting, locking doors and being more cautious when in new areas. I don’t remember this.

I was told never before had our nation come together so wholly. Everyone made every effort to assist those in New York and all who were impacted. All together people were kinder and more considerate. I don’t remember this… I want it to be true with every fiber in my being, that in the wake of uncertainty and fear, a nation came together against all that had divided us, working to ensure the health and safety of all… but I know it is not. Much like many other tragedies, while it can bring so many together, it also leaves people out.

Muslims and individuals of middle eastern heritage, or even the resemblance of it, were ostracized and attacked. There was such a large mistrust and rifts created from one group’s actions. Fear of others. 9/11 wasn’t the first tragedy to divide our nation. Every conflict has brought hate and discrimination to different people. Native Americans since the discovery of our country, Latinx people during the Mexican War and Spanish-American War, German Americans during WW1, Asian Americans (especially Japanese Americans) after Pearl Harbor, Russian and Cubans during the Cold War, Korea, Vietnam, Iraq, Afghanistan, and the numerous ones I inbetween.

Since 9/11, our country continues to divide with hate. Attacks on Asian Americans have risen since Covid-19 because people connect the location of the outbreak with their appearance. Attacks and prejudice against Black lives and Latinx has never been uncommon in this country.

I do not bring this up to take away from the lives lost during 9/11 or the pain still inflicted 20 years later. I can’t fathom how the families of those who lived in New York could handle such anxiety, wondering whether or not their loved ones were okay. I can’t imagine the pain felt when learning who was killed or surviving when someone else didn’t.

I bring this to attention because I know the history and the stories like I know the back of my hand. We hold assemblies in school every year to honor and remember as we should. It wasn’t until I went to college, I learned what wasn’t in my civics and histories book. I learned the things we don’t want to remember and want to forget, the violence and injustice against our own people. Just because it isn’t taught or wrote down doesn’t mean it didn’t happen. The massacre in Tulsa is nowhere in any textbook I have ever found nor the stories of what happened to survivors. It was ignored and unacknowledged. How are we to learn and understand each other if we disregard the experiences that have shaped others’ distrust and created the divides between us? As much as we strive for it, we are not at the level of equality we claim to be. There is prejudice and discrimination and outright violence against so many. I will not claim to be a saint. I am sure I have my own unconscious and implicit biases. 

This 9/11 I ask you in the spirit of love and growth, in the spirit of our country coming together, be considerate to others. For one day, honor someone you lost or someone you know who lost someone by acting with kindness. Help your neighbor, bring your coworker a coffee, write a gratitude note to someone who helps you. Never forget how you got to where you are and the people who have helped you. Remember everyone deserves to be treated as a human being. 

— Angie Maag is a reporter for the Times. She can be reached at amaag@themonroetimes.com.