What is it about guys and gutters?

Ask 100 men about the efficacy of gutters and 99.5 of them will tell you a household cannot survive without the presence of this truly transformative device.

These roof-hugging pipelines redirect water away from your house and foundation, providing protection and peace of mind.

As a woman, I’ve never quite understood the value of gutters.

Maybe this isn’t a male-female issue, but every man I’ve ever asked about gutters has the same response:

“I’ve had eight different houses and I’ve installed gutters in all of them. Best eight decisions I’ve ever made!”

I’m not often confused, but this rain-train of thought leaves me so. Water falls from the clouds. It lands on the ground. It has been this way since the dawn of time. How in the world is a gutter going to change that?

This used to drive my husband crazy; he thoroughly understood the universal need for gutters.

He spoke of rooflines and pitches and water flow. He tried to explain the logic to me many times. I failed to comprehend it many times.

Men may understand gutters, but there are many things they do not understand, not the least of which is the value of a paper towel dispensed strategically over splatter-prone spaghetti leftovers in the microwave.

They are vigilant when fighting rain (which is mostly clean water) but do not understand the importance of fighting tomato explosions (which are far from clean).

What is it about women and microwave ovens?

Ask 100 women about the efficacy of a paper towel placed over a leftover plate of spaghetti in the microwave and 97.5 percent will tell you this exact scenario has been a point of contention within their household.

Men do not understand this point of contention, which helps to define the exact point of contention.

Spaghetti splatters should be avoided at all cost, especially when it involves something as simple and effortless as a paper towel.

Yet men avoid the paper towel hack nearly every day. This is because they were born with an inability to see spaghetti splotches (or any sort of food-related splotches) within the microwave walls. Their ability to ignore the obvious is often legendary.

This ability to ignore debris inside the microwave is rivaled only by their ability to identify debris within gutters — which is also legendary, just in the opposite direction.

Men will go to great lengths to keep their gutters pristine. Errant leaves and branches are expelled with abandon. A good gutter is a clean gutter.

Likewise, women will go to great lengths to keep their microwaves pristine. Errant splatters and spills are wiped with abandon. A good microwave is a clean microwave.

It’s the dichotomy of life, which often works out to be a beautifully balanced set of checks and balances. Men will haul out a 20-pound ladder to expel a fine layer of fall leaves. Women will yank off three paper towels to exterminate the flecks from last night’s spaghetti fiasco.

When you think about it, we’re all just trying to keep our own lanes clean. Which isn’t a bad thing, really. It keeps the peace, gives us purpose and ensures we each have our own area of expertise. We simply choose different priorities when attending to those areas.

The phenomenon is widespread.

We could even equate this to the dichotomy that exists between men and barbecues versus women and slow cookers. But that’s a column for another day. Maybe next week. See you then.

— Jill Pertler’s column Slices of Life appears occasionally in the Times. She can be reached at slicescolumn@gmail.com.