It has been a mild winter. When I drafted an early version of this scribbling a couple of months ago, I had added, "so far." With the arrival of the vernal equinox, we can delete the "so far," as it has indeed been a mild winter throughout, somewhere around the fourth mildest in history according to the weather sooths.
I have spent a good part of my life in Wisconsin and Minnesota, and have concluded that the Scandinavians, Germans, and Swiss who inhabit these climes almost universally subscribe to the theory of compensatory suffering. It goes something like this - be wary if we have a nice autumn and a late arriving winter, because if we have "nice" weather in November and December, and especially in January, we are certain to pay for it later. If the winter begins too nice, we must compensate for it later by suffering unusually harsh weather.
In other words, we were put on this earth, especially in these northern climes, to suffer cold winters, and if we don't suffer early on, we will surely suffer later. I have always envied the Irish who, being happy folks, seem oblivious to this theory - quite unlike, speaking for myself anyway, some of us more prone to solemn, moody spells.
A corollary to this theory is that it is not wise, indeed, it is an invitation to disaster to actually enjoy a mild early winter. The more we revel in a mild December and January, the more we are bound to suffer harsh, unusually stormy weather in February and March. Never mind that suffering a cold early winter will not exempt us from suffering a cold late winter as well. But according to the theory, better to play it safe. The more we enjoy a mild early winter, the more severely we will pay for it later.
Winter is now over. But let's not get too complacent. We might still pay for this mild winter and early spring by having an unusually hot summer. I have never seen green grass this early around here. And we had a streak of days 20, sometimes even 30, degrees warmer than in New Mexico, where I once lived and occasionally return to enjoy that agreeable climate.
Actually, there is a greater threat from an early spring than compensatory suffering of some uncomfortably hot weather. This unusually early spring has already cut the maple syrup harvest by as much as one-third. Fruit trees are in bloom way earlier than usual. One hard freeze at this stage and the fruit crop is in trouble.
A few years ago my mother and I planted a peach tree on the farm - surely this must be the northern fringe of where peach trees will bear. Last summer, for the first time, that tree was loaded with peaches, small but incredibly delicious. It's showing promise this spring, but I don't like the odds - it's way too early for peach blossoms, especially in this neck of the woods.
Compensatory suffering is not limited to weather. Why else would we suffer through three hours of aggravating, obnoxious commercials to watch 60 minutes of football? The Super Bowl has been over for some time, and it's good to be free of the temptation to be caught up in the idiocy of it all, whether the Packers are in it or not. Maybe it's because of the drabness of early February that I find myself succumbing to all that nonsense.
Of course there are those who actually enjoy the commercials, especially during Super Bowl. In fact, the hoopla over the commercials is almost on par with the hoopla over the game itself. Some even claim to enjoy the commercials more than the game. I find that incomprehensible, even perverse. Chalk it up to a victory for corporate America and a ringing endorsement of capitalism.
Of course as an economist, I'm all for capitalism, at least a modified sort that isn't allowed to go wild and self-destruct. But I still find those commercials aggravating. After a couple of them, knowing there will be another half dozen without a break, I need to walk around and get a beer and a snack with more calories that I don't need.
Then in addition to the game, there is the pre-game hype - a half dozen guys sitting around chattering - Bradshaw, Long, Ditka, and a bunch of other guys. These guys have good jobs. They have proven their masculinity and have nothing more to prove in that regard. So they get to sit around and josh with each other, and get paid for it. Highly paid, wined and dined wherever they go, probably a bunch of women chasing them all over the place. Whatta life.
And the best part of it all for them is that in contrast to politicians, businessmen, Wall Street bankers, and financial advisors, they can make predictions, prognostications, and give mini-lectures to anyone who will listen, and if they are wrong, it doesn't matter.
That's a nice position to be in. Oh, I suppose it matters to individuals, and fans of specific teams, and to economic regions. But in the total scheme of things, if these guys are wrong, it's inconsequential. It just doesn't matter.
All that matters is that these boys are entertaining, and they are - at least entertaining enough that we listen to their babble.
All we have to do is compensate by suffering the pitchmen and peddlers that go with it - sort of like the compensatory suffering we might yet endure. After all, it was a mild winter.
Meanwhile, let's enjoy the robins and hope that a sudden freeze doesn't ruin the fruit crop. Maybe if we're lucky we can enjoy the early spring without the obligatory compensatory suffering.
- John Waelti's column appears every Friday in the Times. He can be reached at jjwaelti1@tds.net.
I have spent a good part of my life in Wisconsin and Minnesota, and have concluded that the Scandinavians, Germans, and Swiss who inhabit these climes almost universally subscribe to the theory of compensatory suffering. It goes something like this - be wary if we have a nice autumn and a late arriving winter, because if we have "nice" weather in November and December, and especially in January, we are certain to pay for it later. If the winter begins too nice, we must compensate for it later by suffering unusually harsh weather.
In other words, we were put on this earth, especially in these northern climes, to suffer cold winters, and if we don't suffer early on, we will surely suffer later. I have always envied the Irish who, being happy folks, seem oblivious to this theory - quite unlike, speaking for myself anyway, some of us more prone to solemn, moody spells.
A corollary to this theory is that it is not wise, indeed, it is an invitation to disaster to actually enjoy a mild early winter. The more we revel in a mild December and January, the more we are bound to suffer harsh, unusually stormy weather in February and March. Never mind that suffering a cold early winter will not exempt us from suffering a cold late winter as well. But according to the theory, better to play it safe. The more we enjoy a mild early winter, the more severely we will pay for it later.
Winter is now over. But let's not get too complacent. We might still pay for this mild winter and early spring by having an unusually hot summer. I have never seen green grass this early around here. And we had a streak of days 20, sometimes even 30, degrees warmer than in New Mexico, where I once lived and occasionally return to enjoy that agreeable climate.
Actually, there is a greater threat from an early spring than compensatory suffering of some uncomfortably hot weather. This unusually early spring has already cut the maple syrup harvest by as much as one-third. Fruit trees are in bloom way earlier than usual. One hard freeze at this stage and the fruit crop is in trouble.
A few years ago my mother and I planted a peach tree on the farm - surely this must be the northern fringe of where peach trees will bear. Last summer, for the first time, that tree was loaded with peaches, small but incredibly delicious. It's showing promise this spring, but I don't like the odds - it's way too early for peach blossoms, especially in this neck of the woods.
Compensatory suffering is not limited to weather. Why else would we suffer through three hours of aggravating, obnoxious commercials to watch 60 minutes of football? The Super Bowl has been over for some time, and it's good to be free of the temptation to be caught up in the idiocy of it all, whether the Packers are in it or not. Maybe it's because of the drabness of early February that I find myself succumbing to all that nonsense.
Of course there are those who actually enjoy the commercials, especially during Super Bowl. In fact, the hoopla over the commercials is almost on par with the hoopla over the game itself. Some even claim to enjoy the commercials more than the game. I find that incomprehensible, even perverse. Chalk it up to a victory for corporate America and a ringing endorsement of capitalism.
Of course as an economist, I'm all for capitalism, at least a modified sort that isn't allowed to go wild and self-destruct. But I still find those commercials aggravating. After a couple of them, knowing there will be another half dozen without a break, I need to walk around and get a beer and a snack with more calories that I don't need.
Then in addition to the game, there is the pre-game hype - a half dozen guys sitting around chattering - Bradshaw, Long, Ditka, and a bunch of other guys. These guys have good jobs. They have proven their masculinity and have nothing more to prove in that regard. So they get to sit around and josh with each other, and get paid for it. Highly paid, wined and dined wherever they go, probably a bunch of women chasing them all over the place. Whatta life.
And the best part of it all for them is that in contrast to politicians, businessmen, Wall Street bankers, and financial advisors, they can make predictions, prognostications, and give mini-lectures to anyone who will listen, and if they are wrong, it doesn't matter.
That's a nice position to be in. Oh, I suppose it matters to individuals, and fans of specific teams, and to economic regions. But in the total scheme of things, if these guys are wrong, it's inconsequential. It just doesn't matter.
All that matters is that these boys are entertaining, and they are - at least entertaining enough that we listen to their babble.
All we have to do is compensate by suffering the pitchmen and peddlers that go with it - sort of like the compensatory suffering we might yet endure. After all, it was a mild winter.
Meanwhile, let's enjoy the robins and hope that a sudden freeze doesn't ruin the fruit crop. Maybe if we're lucky we can enjoy the early spring without the obligatory compensatory suffering.
- John Waelti's column appears every Friday in the Times. He can be reached at jjwaelti1@tds.net.
