People have their bucket lists - things they want to do before they, you know, kick the bucket. And, people have lists of goals - also things they want to do. But how about a list of "I nevers?" You know, things you've never done, and probably never will - but you never know.

I started this list a while ago, and then happened to see it played as a game on a TV talk show where the guests answered honestly whether they'd never been to a nude beach, never been arrested or never seen one another naked. My nevers are decidedly less movie-star and more G-rated. Although I never have been to a nude beach.

Here goes:

I've never milked a cow.

I've never found Nemo.

I've never eaten yellow snow.

I've never swum with sharks. (That I know of. I did swim with a barracuda once.)

I've never danced with wolves.

I've never taken a Caribbean, Alaskan or any type of cruise. (Although I do use cruise control on occasion.)

I've never plucked a chicken.

I've never eaten green eggs and ham.

I've never been a millionaire. (But I'm open to the possibility.)

I've never fired a gun (unless you count the BB variety).

I've never eaten the worm - or any worm for that matter.

I've never purchased margarine.

I've never been a ghost buster.

I've never gone with the wind.

I've never had a close encounter of the first, second or third kind.

I've never been to Fantasy Island.

I've never gotten a tattoo.

I've never given my regards to Broadway.

I've never had a brand new car.

I've never watched "Dirty Dancing." (Hard to believe, I know.)

I've never lost a glass slipper.

I've never worn blue suede shoes.

I've never had a pedicure.

I've never put lipstick on a pig. (Not even sure they have lips.)

I've never watched "The Big Bang Theory."

I've never raided the lost ark.

I've never played Candy Crush Saga.

I've never had a little lamb.

I've never killed a mockingbird.

I've never followed the yellow brick road.

I've never changed the cat litter.

I've never ridden in a New York taxi or a streetcar named Desire.

I've never flown first class.

I've never lived in Hawaii. (Or visited. Sigh.)

I've never been a rebel without a cause.

I've never been to the Grand Canyon (even though I lived in Arizona for two years).

I've never written a novel.

I've never run in a marathon (or 5K for that matter).

I've never had one of those fancy K-cups of coffee.

I've never watched Frozen. (An admission that is going to catch me some serious scrutiny.)

I've never flown over the cuckoo's nest.

I've never owned an artificial Christmas tree.

I've never used power tools (but want to).

I've never returned to a school for homecoming.

I've never tasted the grapes of wrath.

I've never had an apple tree.

I've never chopped down a tree.

I've never eaten chopped liver.

A person could go on forever with their nevers. I hope I've encouraged you to think about it yourself. What have you never done? This process has helped me realize there are some things on the list that I hope I get to, eventually. Especially the trips to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon - but probably not the tattoo or lipstick on the pig. Then again, I've learned to never say never.



- Jill Pertler's column appears every Thursday in the Times. She can be reached at pertmn@qwest.net.