Ready for a total meltdown?
No, not me. I am Captain Composure, the voice of reason, cool, calm and collected.
I am referring to the weather. It was so nice to hear a collective sigh here in Monroe as Sunday's temps reached the 40s and the defrosting began. Some people were even out in shorts.
So, I liked what I heard but not so much what I saw. That's because I live above our dreaded municipal parking ramp, and the de-icing of my windows finally brought it into clear view. Yuck.
When interviewing for my reporter job, my boss said if hired I'd have to keep my eye on the parking ramp. It was a big issue here. Well, maybe I'm over-eager to please or just plain gullible, but I took her literally. That's right, I found a place to live that looks directly at the ramp.
Sure enough, everywhere I go, be it a meeting or a social setting, the darn thing is a topic of discussion. Funny how something that should come down always comes up.
And in each conversation, people come down with a case of the "yeah-buts."
For example:
"The ramp is falling apart. Heck, a bunch of the spots are deemed unsafe."
"Yeah, but without it the Square will get even more crowded."
"Yeah, but we can move people along with two-hour parking restrictions."
"Yeah, but that requires enforcement. And it creates an unfriendly, non-inviting image."
"Yeah, but we really need that spot where the ramp sits for economic growth. It's prime property."
"Yeah, a cool retail development would do great there, or some hip apartments would be cool too. We'd be getting more people downtown to dine, shop and even live."
"Yeah, but where would they park?"
"Oh, yeah, that's true. Never mind. You're correct, we need the ramp for that."
"But the ramp is falling apart. Heck, a bunch of the spots are deemed unsafe."
See the vicious circle here? Hey, that would be a good nickname for the ramp: "the vicious circle."
Everyone has an opinion on the ramp, and for those who want two-hour parking limits or even the return of the meters as a method to direct people to the ramp, please forgive me as my skin crawls.
For what it's worth, I am very sensitive to any issue related to parking. You see, two years ago I lived on the Square in Madison, the ultimate home to parking hell. The situation on Monroe's Square is a far cry from that - cry being the operative word because I did just that in Madison as the tickets piled up - and let's please keep it that way.
There's nothing worse than watching a parking gestapo in action, marking tires with chalk, writing out tickets, and even giving an occasional tire the boot.
Have you seen this boot mechanism, the steel set of jaws that prevent you from going anywhere? It's the ultimate in parking mind games: Isn't leaving a parking spot so someone else can use it the whole point?
Then there's the evil sidekick, the dreaded tow truck - the Panzer tanks of the parking war.
Folks, there's nothing more comforting to know you can park on the Square in Monroe for free and be at peace. And if someone happens to leave their car in front of a business for 48 hours, which I bet is rare, so be it.
So, now that parking restrictions are off my table, what is the answer? Do we sell the ramp, fix the ramp, destroy the ramp or leave it be? I think I'll take this one to the street - letting you, the readers, decide. Goodness knows the city can't.
So, for more on the ramp I suggest you park it right here again next Monday.
Meanwhile, I gaze out my window, pondering that darn ramp below me. It's only been a few months for me on this, compared to decades for many of you, but I'll be darned if Captain Composure isn't LOSING IT.
- John Morton covers the city beat for the Monroe Times. and can be reached at jmorton@themonroetimes.com or by phone at 608-328-4202, ext. 50. His column appears Mondays.
No, not me. I am Captain Composure, the voice of reason, cool, calm and collected.
I am referring to the weather. It was so nice to hear a collective sigh here in Monroe as Sunday's temps reached the 40s and the defrosting began. Some people were even out in shorts.
So, I liked what I heard but not so much what I saw. That's because I live above our dreaded municipal parking ramp, and the de-icing of my windows finally brought it into clear view. Yuck.
When interviewing for my reporter job, my boss said if hired I'd have to keep my eye on the parking ramp. It was a big issue here. Well, maybe I'm over-eager to please or just plain gullible, but I took her literally. That's right, I found a place to live that looks directly at the ramp.
Sure enough, everywhere I go, be it a meeting or a social setting, the darn thing is a topic of discussion. Funny how something that should come down always comes up.
And in each conversation, people come down with a case of the "yeah-buts."
For example:
"The ramp is falling apart. Heck, a bunch of the spots are deemed unsafe."
"Yeah, but without it the Square will get even more crowded."
"Yeah, but we can move people along with two-hour parking restrictions."
"Yeah, but that requires enforcement. And it creates an unfriendly, non-inviting image."
"Yeah, but we really need that spot where the ramp sits for economic growth. It's prime property."
"Yeah, a cool retail development would do great there, or some hip apartments would be cool too. We'd be getting more people downtown to dine, shop and even live."
"Yeah, but where would they park?"
"Oh, yeah, that's true. Never mind. You're correct, we need the ramp for that."
"But the ramp is falling apart. Heck, a bunch of the spots are deemed unsafe."
See the vicious circle here? Hey, that would be a good nickname for the ramp: "the vicious circle."
Everyone has an opinion on the ramp, and for those who want two-hour parking limits or even the return of the meters as a method to direct people to the ramp, please forgive me as my skin crawls.
For what it's worth, I am very sensitive to any issue related to parking. You see, two years ago I lived on the Square in Madison, the ultimate home to parking hell. The situation on Monroe's Square is a far cry from that - cry being the operative word because I did just that in Madison as the tickets piled up - and let's please keep it that way.
There's nothing worse than watching a parking gestapo in action, marking tires with chalk, writing out tickets, and even giving an occasional tire the boot.
Have you seen this boot mechanism, the steel set of jaws that prevent you from going anywhere? It's the ultimate in parking mind games: Isn't leaving a parking spot so someone else can use it the whole point?
Then there's the evil sidekick, the dreaded tow truck - the Panzer tanks of the parking war.
Folks, there's nothing more comforting to know you can park on the Square in Monroe for free and be at peace. And if someone happens to leave their car in front of a business for 48 hours, which I bet is rare, so be it.
So, now that parking restrictions are off my table, what is the answer? Do we sell the ramp, fix the ramp, destroy the ramp or leave it be? I think I'll take this one to the street - letting you, the readers, decide. Goodness knows the city can't.
So, for more on the ramp I suggest you park it right here again next Monday.
Meanwhile, I gaze out my window, pondering that darn ramp below me. It's only been a few months for me on this, compared to decades for many of you, but I'll be darned if Captain Composure isn't LOSING IT.
- John Morton covers the city beat for the Monroe Times. and can be reached at jmorton@themonroetimes.com or by phone at 608-328-4202, ext. 50. His column appears Mondays.