Get involved
Jacob's SWAG has two events coming up this week.
The first is a fundraising party from 6 to 8 p.m. tonight, Wednesday, Sept. 11, at Flanagan's Shenanigans, 1610 11th St., Monroe. Representatives from Scentsy, Norwex, Thirty-One, Origami Owl and Wildtree will be at the bar selling products, with a portion of all sales going to the foundation.
"Team Elf" will be participating in the Out of Darkness Walk in Madison at 9:30 a.m. Sunday, Sept. 15, with funds going to the Out of Darkness Foundation and the Monroe school district. To get involved, contact the Ellefsons at 608-328-2418 or ktjself@tds.net.
MONROE - Kurt and Teri Ellefson hear it over and over again: "If it could happen to the Ellefsons, it could happen to anyone."
The Monroe couple is dedicated to lifting the stigma of "it."
Since their 14-year-old son took his own life last year, they've thrown themselves into creating and expanding a foundation in his honor.
Jacob's SWAG Foundation, Inc., raises money to fund educational programming in schools and community youth groups about bullying, suicide prevention and making good life choices. "SWAG" stands for Support With Awareness and Giving. The foundation has several events coming up, including a fundraiser tonight, Wednesday, Sept. 11, at Flanagan's Shenanigans in Monroe.
Teri has to squeeze out the words quickly before emotion chokes her.
"We just want kids to know it's OK if you're feeling different. We want kids to know that they all matter in life," she said, sitting next to her husband at their dining room table early one morning this week. They're the kind of thoughtful people who come to an interview with preparatory notes penciled in a yellow legal pad.
Their son Jacob would have started his sophomore year at Monroe High School earlier this month. He died June 7, 2012. About ten days later, kids he knew came forward with information that Jacob had been teased. Teasing may not be a big deal to some kids, Teri reflected, "but someone with a soft heart might take it a little harder."
"Words hurt," Kurt said. He's struggled with guilt since his son's suicide.
"I feel so bad and naive. I feel like I failed ... but I had no clue."
Climate change
Out of the tragedy of losing their son - and their daughter Samantha losing a brother - the Ellefsons have found comfort in helping others. They're working closely with the Monroe school district to organize educational programming and spark public dialogue.
This past February Jacob's SWAG helped bring former NFL player Shawn Harper to the high school for a talk. Harper played for the Los Angeles Rams and Indianapolis Colts in the early 1990s and talked about working toward his dream.
"Kids still talk about it six months later," Teri said. Of the related education work the district is doing, she added, "It has changed the climate inside the Monroe schools. That's the feedback we're hearing."
The Ellefsons credit Joe Monroe, director of pupil services, and superintendent Cory Hirsbrunner with welcoming Jacob's SWAG and opening up the discussion about bullying and suicide prevention.
"I am really impressed with their efforts," Kurt said. "They truly care about children."
Teens have it tough these days, the Ellefsons agree. A technological overload of social media and cellphones can build to "sensory overload" for kids still learning coping skills, Kurt said. "They are under so much more stress."
Finding 'good moments'
Now the Ellefsons and the district are working to expand educational programming to smaller districts across the area, including Albany, Juda, Monticello, Argyle and Black Hawk. They attribute the idea for this expansion to John and Kathy Pierce, a couple from Juda whose 20-year-old son took his life in 2011.
"The Pierces are the catalyst," Kurt said. "They reached out."
"Through the tragedy of losing our sons, we've become friends," Teri said.
Connections like this helped the Ellefsons cope after Jacob's death, and in turn it gives them strength to help others.
"I don't want any parent or sibling to walk in the path of life that we are. I find strength in this foundation," Teri said.
For Kurt, every day since June 7 of last year "has been a continuation of a nightmare," but through the foundation, "I have good moments. Not every day is a complete zero, so to speak."
They're seeking nonprofit status for Jacob's SWAG and created a board of directors with local attorney Todd Schluesche and insurance agent Karen Mau-Boll for additional business and legal advice.
"This is so much bigger than we ever anticipated it would be," Teri said of Jacob's SWAG. "It just has grown and grown and grown."
The Monroe couple is dedicated to lifting the stigma of "it."
Since their 14-year-old son took his own life last year, they've thrown themselves into creating and expanding a foundation in his honor.
Jacob's SWAG Foundation, Inc., raises money to fund educational programming in schools and community youth groups about bullying, suicide prevention and making good life choices. "SWAG" stands for Support With Awareness and Giving. The foundation has several events coming up, including a fundraiser tonight, Wednesday, Sept. 11, at Flanagan's Shenanigans in Monroe.
Teri has to squeeze out the words quickly before emotion chokes her.
"We just want kids to know it's OK if you're feeling different. We want kids to know that they all matter in life," she said, sitting next to her husband at their dining room table early one morning this week. They're the kind of thoughtful people who come to an interview with preparatory notes penciled in a yellow legal pad.
Their son Jacob would have started his sophomore year at Monroe High School earlier this month. He died June 7, 2012. About ten days later, kids he knew came forward with information that Jacob had been teased. Teasing may not be a big deal to some kids, Teri reflected, "but someone with a soft heart might take it a little harder."
"Words hurt," Kurt said. He's struggled with guilt since his son's suicide.
"I feel so bad and naive. I feel like I failed ... but I had no clue."
Climate change
Out of the tragedy of losing their son - and their daughter Samantha losing a brother - the Ellefsons have found comfort in helping others. They're working closely with the Monroe school district to organize educational programming and spark public dialogue.
This past February Jacob's SWAG helped bring former NFL player Shawn Harper to the high school for a talk. Harper played for the Los Angeles Rams and Indianapolis Colts in the early 1990s and talked about working toward his dream.
"Kids still talk about it six months later," Teri said. Of the related education work the district is doing, she added, "It has changed the climate inside the Monroe schools. That's the feedback we're hearing."
The Ellefsons credit Joe Monroe, director of pupil services, and superintendent Cory Hirsbrunner with welcoming Jacob's SWAG and opening up the discussion about bullying and suicide prevention.
"I am really impressed with their efforts," Kurt said. "They truly care about children."
Teens have it tough these days, the Ellefsons agree. A technological overload of social media and cellphones can build to "sensory overload" for kids still learning coping skills, Kurt said. "They are under so much more stress."
Finding 'good moments'
Now the Ellefsons and the district are working to expand educational programming to smaller districts across the area, including Albany, Juda, Monticello, Argyle and Black Hawk. They attribute the idea for this expansion to John and Kathy Pierce, a couple from Juda whose 20-year-old son took his life in 2011.
"The Pierces are the catalyst," Kurt said. "They reached out."
"Through the tragedy of losing our sons, we've become friends," Teri said.
Connections like this helped the Ellefsons cope after Jacob's death, and in turn it gives them strength to help others.
"I don't want any parent or sibling to walk in the path of life that we are. I find strength in this foundation," Teri said.
For Kurt, every day since June 7 of last year "has been a continuation of a nightmare," but through the foundation, "I have good moments. Not every day is a complete zero, so to speak."
They're seeking nonprofit status for Jacob's SWAG and created a board of directors with local attorney Todd Schluesche and insurance agent Karen Mau-Boll for additional business and legal advice.
"This is so much bigger than we ever anticipated it would be," Teri said of Jacob's SWAG. "It just has grown and grown and grown."