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Holidays can be rough on area military families
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MONROE - Kyle Bruehlman, a 22-year-old Marine in Afghanistan, will be spending his second Christmas away from home this year.

His mother, Rita Novak, Monroe, said she would love to postpone the holiday celebration until he gets home, perhaps early next year, and sent his presents to his wife, Kasey, in North Carolina. Kasey has finally put up the Christmas tree.

"She said she has something to celebrate now," Novak said.

When military personnel are away from home, families find unique ways to cope and keep the holidays warm.

Barb and Bob Hauser, Browntown, will celebrate Christmas without two of their five children again this year.

The Hausers' daughter, Amanda Sandy, 24, and their son, Scott, 20, are serving in the Air Force. Both were deployed overseas last year.

Amanda is at Lackland Air Force Base in San Antonio this year, and Scott is in Grand Forks, North Dakota - but they still will not be home for the holidays.

Barb Hauser says when children can't be home to celebrate the holidays, "it's just not right and feels a little empty."

So she has found ways to relieve the heartache that comes with being apart.

"They loved getting 'care packages' with the simplest of items," Hauser said. "Real peanut butter was the big demand, and real Wisconsin cheese was another. Not anything elaborate, just simple stuff."

Novak is able to "catch Kyle on the Internet" and chats with him occasionally.

"He said if anyone wants to send something to the troops, they want baby wipes," she said.

Novak sends the ones with shea butter, which don't dry out the skin.

Last year, Amanda Sandy was in Iraq. Her four previous years of service prepared her for being thousands of miles away from her family during the holidays.

Still, she missed the spirit of Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas that are so tangible in the states.

"So I enlisted the help of my mother to send me all the little comforts that she could manage. Holiday decorations, holiday treats and holiday pictures are what really helped," she said.

Amanda spent Christmas, 2009 sleeping all day, because she was on the night shift. Then she got the leftovers of the best form of a holiday meal she could before going to work that night. New Year's festivities were completely forgotten, because of a major trauma call in the emergency room where she worked.

"We didn't even realize it was the new year until 5 the next morning when things calmed down," she said.

Scott Sandy, who enlisted in 2008, was in Afghanistan for Christmas 2009.

"My mother had sent Christmas lights and a Charlie Brown Christmas tree to me early in December, and I had decorated my section of the tent I lived in," he said.

"Last year was really hard, because I was in Afghanistan and it was the first time I was unable to make it home for the holidays," he added.

Scott said military personnel were served turkey, ham, mashed potatoes, stuffing, green beans and other side dishes, along with plenty of sweets to top it off, at the camp chow hall. He and friends in his unit were lucky enough to have had Christmas day off and were able relax while many others had to work.

"The first time I was away for the holidays was the worst," said Amanda, "so in order to ease the hurt, I had to think of the holidays as just another day."

"Everyone who I was deployed with banded together and became a family away from a family," she added. "We did the best we could to get into the holiday spirit - decorating and singing in the halls of the hospital - but there truly isn't a whole lot one can do to fill in that kind of a hole in your heart.

"Because I was so disappointed and upset, I had to really sit and think about why it was that I was so hurt. It wasn't because of the snow I was missing or the awesome food I couldn't have, it was not being together with the ones I loved most."

Military personnel have some access to communication with family, and Hauser said she "thanked God for the Internet."

"I could at least keep in contact with Amanda on a regular basis, since she worked on a base in the (medical) lab department," she said. "Scott wasn't quite so regular because of his job, but at least I heard from him. He had to be very guarded with what he said, but I didn't care."

Scott called home on Christmas Day from Afghanistan, but because of the time difference, it was Christmas eve in the U.S.A. He said he was irritated, because he was so limited as to what he could talk about.

"Last year, I couldn't really tell my mother anything of what I was doing or what I did. (But) It was still good to hear my mother's voice, and she told me what everyone was doing and what food was being made," he said.

"Although this year it will be so much easier being state-side, it will still feel empty without seeing my family," he added. "I've already got my room decorated with lights and a small tree with some gifts underneath. I'm looking forward to this year of holidays, even though I'll be working. I'm just happy to be state-side.

"They all just want to know that people haven't forgotten about them," Barb Hauser said, "and that we really care about what they are trying to do. A simple card that says we appreciate them and hope they are safe really does a lot for their morale... and a few Christmas lights and some Charlie Brown Christmas trees and bags of candy and homemade fudge."

"It kind of sounds depressing," said Amanda, "but to us, the holidays are just another day. They have to be. It's something that we've all learned to live with being the military. You do what you've got to do, because after all, it's what we've signed up for - to be ready at a moment's notice to go to the ends of the world for however long we're needed. What we appreciate beyond words, however, is that people recognize us for the sacrifices we make."