When my kids were little, they often came to me with “what ifs.”

What if the school bus starts to fly?

What if we ate dessert first?

What if God never invented rabbits? Or ice cream? Or trees? Or bikes? Or the rain?

What if my hair turned into spaghetti noodles?

What if all the grass turned purple?

What if broccoli tasted like candy and candy tasted like broccoli?

What if the person we see in the mirror isn’t the same as the person everyone else sees?

Attending to these what ifs often proved difficult because they were, for the most part, unanswerable and not based in reality. Spaghetti noodle hair? Purple grass? A mirror that reflects the real you?

I still hadn’t figured out what to make for supper or how I was going to make it to parent-teacher conferences by 7:30. 

Those were the what ifs on my mind at the time.

Still I did my best to attend to my kids’ questions, while (if I am honest) sometimes admonishing them that mommy didn’t have time for what ifs right now 

As much as I loved their creativity and free-thinking, all their what ifs, while imaginative and even sometimes fun, were a challenge for a busy mom.

Until now.

Listen closely while I contradict all I tried to teach my kids over the years with my very own set of what ifs. Because you know what I’ve learned over the years? Maybe the questions we ask ourselves, even if they are silly or a drain on time, sometimes lead to bigger thoughts and bigger things than we ever thought possible.

What if what ifs aren’t necessarily unnecessary, but beneficial? What if they can provide a whole new perspective on things?

Let’s start there. And then:

What if every mistake we make is an opportunity to learn something new?

What if every detour we encounter provides the chance to explore new scenery?

What if every goodbye opened the door for a new hello?

What if you understood that your past doesn’t need to define your future?

What if all the bumps in the road helped you to hone your maneuverability?

What if a setback was seen as simply a chance to regroup, rethink and re-align?

What if you completely failed at half of everything you did? And what if you choose to focus the other 50 percent?

What if failure was necessary to bring you to the doorway for what was next?

What if failure was only a word, and didn’t impact your hopes for the future at all?

What if failure could only lead to something better?

What if every sunset came with the promise of a sunrise? 

What if death was merely a rebirth?

What if everything really did happen for a reason? 

What if we had complete trust in the universe?

What if we had complete trust in ourselves?

What if we dared eat dessert first?

What if we looked in the mirror and knew, for sure, that the person looking back was the face that other people see?

What if none of this is true?

What if all of it is?

My kids used to posit me with what ifs and I felt I was a bit above that stage in life. How silly I was. How much I have learned from them over the years. 

When we are children, we have most of it figured out, and then most of us listen to the grownups and forget the truth of what it really means to question and to explore. If you’ve forgotten, do your best to remember. Pursue the what ifs.

Keep asking. Keep thinking. Keep wondering. What if?

— Jill Pertler’s column Slices of Life appears regularly in the Times. She can be reached at 

slicescolumn@gmail.com.