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Slices of Life: Truth be told
pertler

“The truth will set you free.”

We’ve all heard this iconic sentence, but what does it mean, really? More importantly, what exactly is the truth?

That depends on whom you are asking.

Because I’ve come to believe that each of us has our own truth. What is my truth, with a capital T, may not be yours, in fact it probably isn’t. I know it isn’t.

To complicate matters, your truth today may differ from your truth tomorrow, as will mine because we are ever-changing, ever-evolving beings. It’s a wonder we ever come to a consensus on anything — even within our own minds.

Truth, as I see it, is often fluid, flowing like a river through our lifetime. And that river changes in direction. The current slows to a trickle and then roars to a rapids. And we, my friends, are firmly planted on an inner tube, just along for the ride.

But we don’t always see it this way. We see the truth as THE TRUTH — unchanging and unwavering.

Sometimes it is. Hurting children is wrong. That is the truth. Hurting yourself is wrong. That is the truth. Destroying the dreams or aspirations of another person Is wrong. That is the truth. Hating someone simply because they check a box that you yourself do not check is wrong. That is the truth. 

When stated this way, the truth seems so simple. But it’s far from that. The truth is one of the most complex concepts up for our consideration. It’s right up there with evil, heaven, God and Bigfoot. 

Truth — does it really exist?

I think on some level, yes. In each moment, yes. 

But much of truth ends up being fluid. What was true for me in kindergarten is no longer so by middle school. Circumstances change. Perspectives change. We change. Life changes. And with it, so does “truth.”

Is it warm outside? It depends upon whom you ask. 70 degrees Fahrenheit might be warm for me, but you could very well require at least 80. Someone else might be squarely in the middle at 75, but for each of us, it’s our truth.

Parenthood is a great conundrum of truths, but I think we all (or mostly all) could agree that you are a different parent with child number four as compared to child number one. Each child knows his or her own truths about your parenting, and you also have your own set of truths about parenting at each stage — or each child. 

Every day changes us, and in that changes our truth, or the way we navigate the world. This can create ramifications — both small and huge.

Think about divorce. Two people who want nothing more than to be divided at one point in time wanted nothing more than to be united as one at another. Which one is the truth? 

They both are. Therein lies the conundrum of the concept. Truth can be two completely different things, depending on time, circumstance and the people observing it — living it.

Talk about chaos. Makes you wonder how we make sense of anything. Or better put, how we ascertain the truth in anything, not just from our own perspective, but the truth as viewed by the person sitting next to us.

It’s one of the great mysteries of life. And it can be beautiful, if you let it be. Not knowing the truth about the absence or the lack of any real truth causes you to simply trust. And trust, as it turns out, is pretty beautiful and life-changing.

Because, unlike the truth, trust is unwavering and steadfast.


— Jill Pertler’s column Slices of Life appears regularly in the Times. She can be reached at slicescolumn@gmail.com.