We all start out in life as self-centered beings. It’s a necessity to survival. Problem is, in our current culture we too often fail to grow out of this sense of entitlement. If we want it we should have it. We believe the world owes us. 

Not true. 

But it happens all the time  — this belief that the universe revolves around us. Thinking and considering and acting on our personal desires and feelings before considering the needs of others. It’s the culture in which we live. It’s the culture we’ve created. 

It happens when every kid gets a participation medal. When every kid is told they are the fastest, brightest, smartest, most good looking and so on. When parents are more worried about self-esteem than the golden rule. When everyone needs/wants/has the newest smartphone, the biggest flat screen TV, the latest greatest shiny new vehicle in the driveway with monthly payments that last through eternity. 

We slide into the better parking place even though another car was clearly waiting for the same spot. We take credit for success at work, even though it belongs to others. We pull out the plastic to pay for whatever it is we want this week and justify our actions because “we deserve a treat.” The world owes us. 

Social media doesn’t help. Experts say it contributes to the hyper-individualism and a view on life that is based on fantasy rather than reality. We’ve lost touch with reality, somewhat. Consider reality TV. It should be called fantasy TV because the real housewives of wherever are anything but real. 

An article by the American Psychological Association defines entitlement as “pervasive and enduring feelings of deservingness for more goods, services or special treatment than others…  with or without any dutifully earned right to those benefits.”

It is the belief that we have the right to something — fame, fortune, success or bling — even though we have not earned it. 

It’s been labeled “The Narcissism Epidemic” by authors Jean M. Twenge and W. Keith Campbell. They wrote a whole book on the subject. They attest our culture is spinning out of control because when people take what isn’t rightly theirs it leads to chaos and failure. 

Here’s evidence of the chaos our culture has created (these things actually exist):

A picture book that explains plastic surgery to young children so they won’t be alarmed when their mommy’s face changes suddenly and drastically.

Fake paparazzi who will — for a fee — follow you around when you go out to create the illusion that you are famous.

A certain amount of entitlement is valuable in adults. The belief that we have the right to take care of ourselves and our family, the right to be respected by others and the right not to be hurt by them is important to psychological well-being. But the feeling that we are entitled to go to the head of the line or to be given special treatment at all times is not only unhealthy, it is not a particularly productive way to behave in the world. We do better when we help each other, not hurt each other.

So, what’s a person to do? 

We are made up of our thoughts and our behaviors. Change those and we’ll change the world, or at least our little corner of the universe. It can happen one day, one person at a time.

And much like entitlement it all starts with me, me, me. Thought you’d appreciate the irony there.

— Jill Pertler’s column appears Wednesdays in the Times. She can be reached at jillpert@mediacombb.net or by following Slices of Life on Facebook.