The world moves around us so fast these days that it’s difficult to be a parent. This Sunday is Mother’s Day and it’s right to salute all of those moms who go the extra mile to make their family as complete as possible.

I suppose there isn’t any one model of a perfect mother, although many people would claim their mother was as close to the definition as possible.

Our economy calls for two-income families. Mothers and fathers to work together in child-rearing duties. When explained like that, it sounds like a cardboard cutout of what a family should look like.

What’s missing are the little things that parents, and especially moms, do to help make a house a home and a family as filled with love as possible.

I’ve been without my mom since December 2016, when a heart ailment caught up to her at age 70. She passed away peacefully while sleeping in her favorite chair in the living room of the house she had shared with my dad for 40 years.

My mom was involved significantly in her church and some days spent more time at church than at home. She always tried to help events that involved food. She was a key organizer of the church’s annual garage sale. She played in the bell choir. She sang. She gave people rides to church and other places. At home she took care of my dad. She had a full life.

When I was born in the late 1960s, my mom stayed at home with me and my older sister until we both became kindergarten age. Then my mom landed a job at a pharmacy in the Janesville Mall and for the next 20-plus years she worked full time with Wednesday always being a late night when her shift ended at 9 p.m.

Despite working her own full-time job, my mom got up every day at 4 a.m. to make my dad’s lunch and send him off to work at the Chrysler plant in Belvidere, Illinois.

My mom would make sure my sister and I were out of bed and on our way to school before she went to work.

That’s basically how my household operated all the years I was going to school and growing up in Janesville.

Our parents afforded my sister and I the ability to do things like take swim lessons, play musical instruments and play sports. They kept us clothed and fed. They planned family outings; we did a lot of camping all around Wisconsin. We also spent a good deal of time visiting relatives.

My mom meshed with my father’s hobbies of fishing and hunting. She would ride in a cart with him as he golfed. Among her favorite things were reading, spending time with her own mother and she liked a candy bar on her break at work every day.

I never heard my mom curse.

While I paint the picture of my sainted mother, it should be known there were things in life she didn’t like. 

She could live in chaos. 

Doing anything more than picking up the traveled portions of the house was not a high priority for her. When my sister and I became adults and tried to come to the aid of my mom and dad to restore some order to the family home, she was not at all comfortable with that.

I know one thing that gets lost when we look at two-income families raising multiple children is people live in their houses. They are not meant to be perfect, sparkling-clean showplaces. If everyone isn’t pitching in to keep things picked up, it can become a mess rapidly. 

Whenever I’ve gone to see people and they ask me to “excuse the mess” I try to remind them that I’m not there to see their house, but them.

My mom had ways of making my life special. Whenever my class went on a field trip, she’d pack me a special lunch. When I was in high school and went to formal dances, she always made sure I had access to quality dress-up clothes. When I was little, she liked to take my sister and I to the park and feed the ducks French fries from Janesville’s famous Geri’s Hamburger stand.

In the years after I grew up and had my own family, I still relied on regular phone calls to my mom just to touch base at home and feel grounded. Since she has passed away, I have dearly missed that connection and on more than one Sunday night I’ve found myself wishing I could call and talk to my mom, who I know loved me unconditionally, was proud of me and was connected to me in a special way.

Mother’s Day won’t be taken for granted in our house. My wife is a mom, and a loving one. Like many families who have the ability and means, we’ll celebrate Mother’s Day. I was glad of all the times I got to tell my mom that I loved her. She always knew she was in my heart and I appreciated her for all she had done for me. 

I hope all of those who feel the love and support of their mother wish her a happy day on Sunday. As I’ve learned, there may come a day when you won’t be able to do that, and you’ll have to rely on your memories.

— Matt Johnson is publisher of the Monroe Times. His column is published Wednesdays.