I'm intrigued by human behavior. As humans we operate under certain norms. Most often, we seek approval from one another. So, when we have an urge, opportunity or occasion to bend the norms, we often hope no one is watching.
Because, at the end of the day, don't we all just want to be normal?
But what is that, really? Do normal people get caught picking their noses, tooting in public or singing in the shower when they believe no one is home? We've all been there, done that (yes, we have). I believe we normal people have more of these tricky, tacky, taboo and tangled situations in common than we realize (or would like to admit). For instance:
Ever take a crumpled shirt (or pants) from the dresser and tumble it in the dryer in order to fluff out the wrinkles because you really do hate ironing that much? Me neither.
Ever see a photo of yourself from 10 years ago and think, "I didn't look too bad then," and in your mind believe you still look like that right now? Me neither.
Ever run naked and dripping wet from the shower to get a towel because you forgot to get one before your shower and you hope no one sees you through your wide-open picture window? Me neither.
Ever get teary-eyed after watching a well-done, poignant and touching 30-second TV commercial and try to hide it from your spouse because he wouldn't understand that kind of deep emotion? Me neither.
Ever find yourself without any clean socks so you take the pair you wore yesterday and turn them inside out and wear them again? Me neither.
Ever Google yourself, to see if you're on the web, and then click on all the pages that mention your name to find out if it's you or someone else with the same name as you? Me neither.
Ever put on a baseball hat and extra large sweatshirt and dash through the grocery store as fast as possible, hoping you won't run into anyone you know, because you didn't have time to shower before going? Me neither.
Ever been surprised to find you are talking to yourself and have your overall level of shock crescendo when you find you are also answering yourself - out loud - at the superstore? Me neither.
Ever go on Facebook, scroll down, then down again and again and perhaps again and (finally) get a sense of relief when you reach the post you already read - last time - so you know you can quit? Me neither.
Ever run into a friend from high school whom you haven't seen in years and think that some of the people from your high school are getting old? Me neither.
Ever borrow money from your kids and promise to pay them back (with interest) on payday? Me neither.
Ever heated your coffee or tea or hot cocoa in the microwave for the third time in one morning and then been distracted by the laundry, causing you to forget about your beverage until you found it, now cooled, in the microwave, the next day? Me neither.
Ever received a snide or angry comment from someone and been left speechless and then spend the next hour thinking of all the smart comebacks you woulda coulda shoulda said? Me neither.
Ever make your bed at night, just so you could unmake it before going to bed an hour later? Me neither.
We're all normal people, engaging in normal behaviors. Or maybe not, depending on your definition of normal. I could go on and on creating more of these imaginary scenarios, but you probably couldn't relate anyway, right? Yeah, me neither.
- Jill Pertler's column appears every Thursday in the Times. She can be reached at pertmn@qwest.net.
Because, at the end of the day, don't we all just want to be normal?
But what is that, really? Do normal people get caught picking their noses, tooting in public or singing in the shower when they believe no one is home? We've all been there, done that (yes, we have). I believe we normal people have more of these tricky, tacky, taboo and tangled situations in common than we realize (or would like to admit). For instance:
Ever take a crumpled shirt (or pants) from the dresser and tumble it in the dryer in order to fluff out the wrinkles because you really do hate ironing that much? Me neither.
Ever see a photo of yourself from 10 years ago and think, "I didn't look too bad then," and in your mind believe you still look like that right now? Me neither.
Ever run naked and dripping wet from the shower to get a towel because you forgot to get one before your shower and you hope no one sees you through your wide-open picture window? Me neither.
Ever get teary-eyed after watching a well-done, poignant and touching 30-second TV commercial and try to hide it from your spouse because he wouldn't understand that kind of deep emotion? Me neither.
Ever find yourself without any clean socks so you take the pair you wore yesterday and turn them inside out and wear them again? Me neither.
Ever Google yourself, to see if you're on the web, and then click on all the pages that mention your name to find out if it's you or someone else with the same name as you? Me neither.
Ever put on a baseball hat and extra large sweatshirt and dash through the grocery store as fast as possible, hoping you won't run into anyone you know, because you didn't have time to shower before going? Me neither.
Ever been surprised to find you are talking to yourself and have your overall level of shock crescendo when you find you are also answering yourself - out loud - at the superstore? Me neither.
Ever go on Facebook, scroll down, then down again and again and perhaps again and (finally) get a sense of relief when you reach the post you already read - last time - so you know you can quit? Me neither.
Ever run into a friend from high school whom you haven't seen in years and think that some of the people from your high school are getting old? Me neither.
Ever borrow money from your kids and promise to pay them back (with interest) on payday? Me neither.
Ever heated your coffee or tea or hot cocoa in the microwave for the third time in one morning and then been distracted by the laundry, causing you to forget about your beverage until you found it, now cooled, in the microwave, the next day? Me neither.
Ever received a snide or angry comment from someone and been left speechless and then spend the next hour thinking of all the smart comebacks you woulda coulda shoulda said? Me neither.
Ever make your bed at night, just so you could unmake it before going to bed an hour later? Me neither.
We're all normal people, engaging in normal behaviors. Or maybe not, depending on your definition of normal. I could go on and on creating more of these imaginary scenarios, but you probably couldn't relate anyway, right? Yeah, me neither.
- Jill Pertler's column appears every Thursday in the Times. She can be reached at pertmn@qwest.net.
