Father Gregory Boyle has spent his life improving the conditions for young people in the most heavily gang influenced community in America. 

His work has been hailed as a model of success, but it has been slow — and not without struggles and discouragement along the way. Father Boyle has personally done almost 200 funerals for slain gang members during his ministry.

In his book, “Tattoos on the Heart”, he describes a scene that followed a gang killing where a grieving gang member asked him, “When will it end?” His response was, “When you no longer allow hate and revenge into your heart.”

This is always the starting point for effective change, isn’t it? No matter what the conflict — whether a personal problem or turmoil on the national level — we must begin with our own heart. If judgment, prejudice, animosity, jealousy, anger, or resentment occupy one’s thoughts, where is there room for healing?

Jesus addressed this very point in his Sermon on the Mount. He said that it is useless to pray while mulling about a conflict that one has with another person. “First be reconciled with thy brother, and then come and offer thy gift” (Matthew 5:24).

As human beings, we are often quick to judge and see where others are wrong-headed. Whether in our personal lives or on the national political stage, this might seem to be the norm. Perhaps it has always been that way, but the flood of television and radio coverage and our addiction to social media often leaves little time for healing thought and constructive reflection.

Jesus clearly understood that peace is not a condition imposed from above. It happens from within — one person’s heart at a time — and it requires effort. Loving one’s enemy is not an easy task, but the process must be begun and Christians have the life of Jesus for an example.

Hate requires hate to be combustible. Take away the reciprocity and its power is diminished. This is what Father Boyle was telling the gang leader who was grieving yet another killing. He was telling him that the answer was inside of him, and what was he going to do? What are we going to do?

— Reflections appears regularly on the religion page. The column features a variety of local writers, coordinated through the Monroe Area Clergy Group. Charles Wellington is a member of the First Church of Christ, Scientist, Boston, Massachusetts, 

and regularly meditates with the Great Plains Zen Center in Monroe.