Recently I crossed paths with a colleague and friend I had not seen in some time. We exchanged the usual pleasantries. I noted that my daughter was graduating from college and headed toward graduate school. He was curious about her area of study. I told him that her field was Speech Language Pathology.  

He remarked, “A speech therapist really helped me.” Then he began to explain.

“When I served an English-speaking congregation in Norway a few years ago, I was learning Norwegian. This was not a structured class, but a few friends and members who knew English were tutoring me. Everything was good until I would come across some words that were ‘really Norwegian’ in pronunciation and accent. These included sounds that are not part of the English language.

“Sometimes when this happened, the best I could do was listen, try to emulate and fail. This was frustrating for my friends who knew Norwegian really well. Their response to my flubs was usually along the lines of, ‘arrrgghh, just do it’. 

“So, I spent a couple of hours with a speech therapist who worked with me on how to manipulate my jaw, lips and tongue to make those unique sounds. It really helped.”

This encounter caused me to think about the instances we may look upon others with a kind of “judgey” attitude. Humans are generally adept at looking at others and identifying their shortcomings and perhaps formulating an action plan to address the need. Jesus asks, “Why do you see the speck in your neighbor’s eye, but do not notice the log in your own eye?” (Matthew 7:3) 

You may have heard someone say, “If only they would do…, it would fix their…” Sometimes this is true. “If only you would study more productively, you would earn better grades.” Or “If only you would take care of your health, you would feel better.” There are certainly causes and effects in the world. Our effort, time, disposition and ability play roles in all that we do. Many times, we could do better than we do.  

But there are other times when we have reached the limit. That we really can’t do more. No amount of “arrrgghh, just do it” will suffice. “I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate.” (Romans 7:15)

Like my friend, we may look to others for support or advice or education. We recognize our limitations and look to expand beyond them. We receive encouragement and guidance to address those areas of need.  “I have indeed received much joy and encouragement from your love, because the hearts of the saints have been refreshed through you, my brother.” (Philemon 1:7)

There remain instances where we rely on others for the expertise they have developed. When my vehicle’s engine needs attention, it goes to my mechanic. He has the skill, knowledge, tools and time to fix what needs fixing. If I tried to fix it, the car would end up with the mechanic anyway.  

Ultimately, we rely upon God’s presence, strength, forgiveness and grace. This sees us through dark and challenging times. God’s influence also allows us charitable thoughts towards others and provides the impetus for us to lend a hand. “For by grace you have been saved through faith, and this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God — not the result of works, so that no one may boast.” (Ephesians 2:8-9)

— Reflections appears regularly on the religion page. The column features a variety of local writers, coordinated through the Monroe Area Clergy Group. John Tabaka is pastor of Grace Lutheran Church, Monroe.