I heard a short commentary on the radio the other day. The commentator referenced a book that addressed the increased inability of people to hold meaningful conversation. He noted that one-third of our population report they no longer have conversation with some friends or family members they’ve disagreed with. Two-thirds say they remain silent about their beliefs when certain topics come up because they don’t want to offend people or lose a relationship. Such is the nature of the culture we live in — people disassociate with those who hold a view that differs from theirs.
Election cycle is in high gear and hence there will probably be more “canceling” or “silence” that happens. Candidates from both major political parties add fuel to this sad state, because it’s an effective campaign strategy to demonize their opponent. Fear-mongering escalates the division, and both parties do it. Another reason for the inability to have meaningful conversations is confirmation bias. That’s the human disposition to go to information sources that align with our views. Those sources continue to broadcast or publish biased information which further entrenches and polarizes people. Season this with some strong personality and passion, and you have people who have lost not only their ability to converse honestly and respectfully, but who have lost relationships.
God gives us a better way. Here’s three suggestions: 1) Listen more. Proverbs 18:13 (NASB95) says, “He who gives an answer before he hears, It is folly and shame to him.” If we listen first, and better, trying to understand the other’s thoughts and reasoning, our own thoughts just might get tempered and rounded out better. 2) Speak less. Proverbs 18:2 says, “A fool does not delight in understanding, But only in revealing his own mind.” Proverbs 17:28 says, “Even a fool, when he keeps silent, is considered wise; When he closes his lips, he is considered prudent.” An old adage says, God gave us two ears and one mouth for a reason! Lastly, 3) Hope in what is secure. Almost all the issues we divide over won’t matter for eternity. The Apostle Paul began his first letter to Timothy this way, “Paul, an apostle of Christ Jesus according to the commandment of God our Savior, and of Christ Jesus, who is our hope,” (1 Timothy 1:1). Christ is our hope because what we can receive is what He gained for us on the cross — forgiveness for our sins and eternal life. That far outweighs anything we might gain or lose in a disagreement. A settled eternal destiny helps us keep the temporal things of this world in perspective.
It seems to me that we can, and should, engage in meaningful conversation, and that it is wise to listen more, talk less, live with the hope that can’t be taken away, and yes — to vote. That’s my humble opinion, and yes, I’m willing to talk with you who disagree.
— Reflections appears regularly on the religion page. The column features a variety of local writers, coordinated through the Monroe Area Clergy Group. Dan Krahenbuhl is pastor of Monroe Bible Church.
