Deuteronomy 5:16 — Honor your father and your mother, as the Lord your God has commanded you, so that you may live long and that it may go well with you in the land the Lord your God is giving you.

For some reason, I’ve been having lots of conversations (both good and bad) about mothers and fathers lately. Maybe it’s because we’re in this season of Mother’s Day (May) and Father’s Day (June) that has us thinking about them more.  

I’ve heard stories about parents who have held us up on their shoulders so we could rise up in this world. We’ve talked about how today’s fathers have to take on more than in previous generations and how some of them have really risen to the challenge, enjoying strong relationships with their children. And then there’s all those single parents out there trying to do the same job with half the hands! All of us just trying to do the best we can with the resources that we have available to us.  

But in the same month, I’ve also heard about dysfunctional mothers and fathers who are fighting demons (drugs, alcohol, promiscuity, etc) and who are unable to care for their children at all… leaving them to grandparents and siblings (hopefully) to raise.   

So “honoring” our father and mother can become a little complex. But did you notice the words in the scripture right after that: “as the Lord your God has commanded you”. Do you really think that God doesn’t know that some moms and dads just aren’t going to do the best job of parenting? Do you think that God doesn’t know that there are some very real scars (physical and emotional) that parents have inflicted on their children? How then do we deal with this Scripture? My answer to you is the same one as I tell the parents…do the best you can with the resources you have.  

For some, honoring our parents just means we need to remember to tell them thank you for all they’ve done. And if we have a forum to do it publicly, even better! For some, honoring our parents means that we try to have some kind of relationship even when there’s hurt and things that haven’t been forgiven yet. For some, under advisement from professionals, we’re just not able to have any relationship. We do the best we can.  

But don’t hear in that last that it isn’t important! It is important! We need to work at honoring our parents all throughout the year, not just for Mother’s Day and Father’s Day. Tell them… show them… love them…

And just a quick reminder that CareNet Pregnancy Center of Green County is running their yearly fundraiser between Mother’s and Father’s Days. Give generously to support OTHER mothers and fathers as they try to do their best for their children.  It’s especially important if you are Pro-Life to support those who find themselves with an unexpected pregnancy and no idea how they’re going to make things work out.  

Thanks to my Mom Lynn and my Dad Lorry who have guided me, fed me, loved me, laughed with me, cried with me, and most importantly of all, led me to know Jesus. Thanks Mom and Dad, you’re amazing!    

This is my last Reflections column, as I will be retiring at the end of June. Thanks to all who’ve read my column these past few years!

— Reflections appears regularly on the religion page. The column features a variety of local writers, coordinated through the Monroe Area Clergy Group. Kelly Jahn is pastor of the Juda Zion Community Church.