He was supposed to show up at 11:59 p.m. to begin his bloody rampage.
At least this was the online message my 10-year-old received earlier this week - she either had to pass the information on to 20 friends or this spirit would find her and, well, it wouldn't be pretty.
My daughter was truly scared. But fortunately, she followed our first rule of being online: If something bothers you, you tell Mom and Dad. (Our other first rule is if anyone tells you not to tell Mom or Dad, you immediately tell Mom and Dad.)
We talked through the illogical premise that a dead person could send a message through an electronic device. Then we discussed with her the many layers of protection beyond Mom and Dad - locked doors, a diminutive but fiercely loyal terrier and a heavenly host of deceased loved ones serving as guardian angels.
She wasn't convinced. So we agreed she would sleep on the floor next to Mom - our code for putting her blanket and pillow on the floor for easier access to crawl in bed between me and her father. (We've been down this road a few times.)
As I got into bed at 11:55 p.m., she woke up. We lay there together on my bed, looking at the illuminated face of my phone, watching the witching hour pass. At 12:02 a.m., she relaxed enough to turn over and fall back asleep.
I had walked her through another minefield, giving her some perspective and hopefully something to remember the next time some scary story pops up on the screen or around the campfire. Score one for Mom.
The next day I read a news story about a Mount Horeb High School teacher who was temporarily removed from the classroom for showing a documentary that contained "nude and graphic images," images so troubling, the district called the police and Child Protective Services, the Wisconsin State Journal reported.
To be clear, the documentary "Miss Representation" is no bawdy sex romp. It's a look at gender inequality and how "mainstream media contributes to the under-representation of women in positions of power and influence in America," according to its description on Amazon.com. It's been nominated for awards, including a prestigious Sundance Film Festival award, and includes appearances by some well-known personalities.
Still, the teacher's decision to show the documentary in a class called "Social Problems" created quite the stir in Mount Horeb. The teacher was put on leave, briefly, before being reinstated.
It all seems a bit reactionary - and hypocritical.
One point the documentary makes clear, at least from the 9-minute trailer I watched, is that the oversexualization of women is everywhere - it's pervasive online, in our advertising and our entertainment. All those graphic images, the ones that were troubling enough to contact police and CPS? They were all pulled from media that you and I and our children see every day - television, music videos, commercials and video games.
It's a huge problem - especially for teens, who spend an average of almost 11 hours per day consuming, devouring really, media - a problem certainly worthy of a place in a "Social Problems" class, which one former student told the newspaper has previously tackled issues including poverty, rape culture, bullying and abuse.
Were I a parent of a student in that class, I would be very happy to have my teen see and discuss the documentary with her peers.
The Mount Horeb situation isn't black and white, of course. (Journalism 101: Nothing ever is.) The teacher wasn't there the day the documentary was shown - she left it for a substitute teacher to show. Bad idea? Maybe. But then again, this is an acclaimed documentary. Why would there be an expectation that it would be inappropriate or controversial? Because it used images pulled from everyday television, video games and advertising?
As a result of the dust-up, the Mount Horeb school district said it will in the future offer parents and students more say in whether students participate in all parts of the course curriculum. (The Monroe school district policy is to show movies or movie clips that have been noted on a class syllabus or on a note sent home to parents. Parents can request an alternative activity for their child.) That's as it should be.
But as adults, it's our job to help our kids navigate the scariest moments in life. When they're scared of imaginary boogeymen, we hold their hands and try to explain what isn't real can't hurt them.
When horrific events like this week's Manchester bombing occur, we hold our children's hands and try to explain that while terrorists' threats are very real, they are also very isolated and we can't allow random acts of violence to alter our sense of well-being and safety in the world.
But it seems when there is a a very real and very pervasive threat to our collective psyche, we throw up our hands and point fingers. Perhaps it's easier to draw imaginary lines about what is classroom-friendly and who has the right to talk about what than it is to address the real issue.
- Mary Jane Grenzow is editor of the Monroe Times.
She can be reached at
editor@themonroetimes.com.
Her column appears on Saturdays.
At least this was the online message my 10-year-old received earlier this week - she either had to pass the information on to 20 friends or this spirit would find her and, well, it wouldn't be pretty.
My daughter was truly scared. But fortunately, she followed our first rule of being online: If something bothers you, you tell Mom and Dad. (Our other first rule is if anyone tells you not to tell Mom or Dad, you immediately tell Mom and Dad.)
We talked through the illogical premise that a dead person could send a message through an electronic device. Then we discussed with her the many layers of protection beyond Mom and Dad - locked doors, a diminutive but fiercely loyal terrier and a heavenly host of deceased loved ones serving as guardian angels.
She wasn't convinced. So we agreed she would sleep on the floor next to Mom - our code for putting her blanket and pillow on the floor for easier access to crawl in bed between me and her father. (We've been down this road a few times.)
As I got into bed at 11:55 p.m., she woke up. We lay there together on my bed, looking at the illuminated face of my phone, watching the witching hour pass. At 12:02 a.m., she relaxed enough to turn over and fall back asleep.
I had walked her through another minefield, giving her some perspective and hopefully something to remember the next time some scary story pops up on the screen or around the campfire. Score one for Mom.
The next day I read a news story about a Mount Horeb High School teacher who was temporarily removed from the classroom for showing a documentary that contained "nude and graphic images," images so troubling, the district called the police and Child Protective Services, the Wisconsin State Journal reported.
To be clear, the documentary "Miss Representation" is no bawdy sex romp. It's a look at gender inequality and how "mainstream media contributes to the under-representation of women in positions of power and influence in America," according to its description on Amazon.com. It's been nominated for awards, including a prestigious Sundance Film Festival award, and includes appearances by some well-known personalities.
Still, the teacher's decision to show the documentary in a class called "Social Problems" created quite the stir in Mount Horeb. The teacher was put on leave, briefly, before being reinstated.
It all seems a bit reactionary - and hypocritical.
One point the documentary makes clear, at least from the 9-minute trailer I watched, is that the oversexualization of women is everywhere - it's pervasive online, in our advertising and our entertainment. All those graphic images, the ones that were troubling enough to contact police and CPS? They were all pulled from media that you and I and our children see every day - television, music videos, commercials and video games.
It's a huge problem - especially for teens, who spend an average of almost 11 hours per day consuming, devouring really, media - a problem certainly worthy of a place in a "Social Problems" class, which one former student told the newspaper has previously tackled issues including poverty, rape culture, bullying and abuse.
Were I a parent of a student in that class, I would be very happy to have my teen see and discuss the documentary with her peers.
The Mount Horeb situation isn't black and white, of course. (Journalism 101: Nothing ever is.) The teacher wasn't there the day the documentary was shown - she left it for a substitute teacher to show. Bad idea? Maybe. But then again, this is an acclaimed documentary. Why would there be an expectation that it would be inappropriate or controversial? Because it used images pulled from everyday television, video games and advertising?
As a result of the dust-up, the Mount Horeb school district said it will in the future offer parents and students more say in whether students participate in all parts of the course curriculum. (The Monroe school district policy is to show movies or movie clips that have been noted on a class syllabus or on a note sent home to parents. Parents can request an alternative activity for their child.) That's as it should be.
But as adults, it's our job to help our kids navigate the scariest moments in life. When they're scared of imaginary boogeymen, we hold their hands and try to explain what isn't real can't hurt them.
When horrific events like this week's Manchester bombing occur, we hold our children's hands and try to explain that while terrorists' threats are very real, they are also very isolated and we can't allow random acts of violence to alter our sense of well-being and safety in the world.
But it seems when there is a a very real and very pervasive threat to our collective psyche, we throw up our hands and point fingers. Perhaps it's easier to draw imaginary lines about what is classroom-friendly and who has the right to talk about what than it is to address the real issue.
- Mary Jane Grenzow is editor of the Monroe Times.
She can be reached at
editor@themonroetimes.com.
Her column appears on Saturdays.
