A kind word can last a lifetime.
It can multiply. It can be something far greater than the effort it took to deliver. It can change lives.
It's important that we shape our lives on kind words. It's important that we shape our criticisms with the thought that they can be delivered in kindness.
The reason this is necessary is shown by the weight an angry statement can carry. A word said in anger with malice can also last forever. Think of how powerful negativity and anger can be. How many kind words are needed to erase angry, hurtful words?
I grew up going from a normal 2-year-old to a plump 5-year-old and an obese 8-year-old. People can hide many of their struggles from others. You can't hide how you appear. Whether you're big, small, short or tall - whether your hair is bright orange or you have a birthmark or scar that's in plain sight - that's what people see. When I was young - and then for my entire life - I've been big.
I wonder how I would have turned out if I would have let all the negative words about my size be the things that shaped who I was. Certainly, they had an impact. I've come to understand this - everybody has issues about how they appear. No matter if you're told you're the most beautiful person on earth, there are imperfections. Sometimes we're the only people who see them - and that's enough.
All of the money and beauty in the world don't stop people from having problems.
While being blasted from every side while growing up with the barbs with which only a big kid can relate, I somehow hung onto the positive stuff that came my way.
I was able to grow up being a part of organizations focused on building character and self-esteem. I was a Cub Scout. I never won the Pinewood Derby, and I didn't earn some badges that the others earned, but I did earn the Arrow of Light - the highest award in Cub Scouting. I'm not tooting my horn over what I did when I was 10 years old. I barely remember crossing the bridge or the Blue and Gold Banquet when the ceremony was held. What I remember about Cub Scouts is being with kind people and the motto "Do Your Best."
My last den leader was a man who worked at the plant in Janesville and never had a can of Old Style too far from his hand. What I remember the most about him is that he didn't get angry and didn't say an angry word. How he remained so calm with a den of about nine rambunctious 10-year-olds is beyond me.
I remember a man on my paper route who was disabled, walked with a cane and had a tracheotomy. He wasn't a rich man, and he was up there in years. If he wanted to, he could have closed his door and escaped the world. Instead, in the cold of winter, he would open his door, tell me his hunting stories and talk about one of my favorite subjects - guns. He shared his kindness, when other people in much nicer homes with much more expensive cars, never said a word to me.
It's hard to believe that in the 1970s kids could go door-to-door and meet people and talk. Now we can't let our kids go anywhere that's not pre-approved and where we know everything is safe. This is an example of what we have lost by letting anger and evil triumph over good and kindness. I don't have an explanation or a cure. Our world has changed so much. I do diagnose it as this - too much anger.
How do we fix that? We have to start with ourselves. What do we say? What do we do? Are we an example of the world we want?
A few months ago, a middle schooler, who had been hanging around my apartment building, asked me for some pocket change. I've seen this kid before. The first time I ran into him he had a marijuana pipe and marijuana in a bag in his hand. Am I going to give this kid any money? No, I'm not. I told him I didn't have any and sent him on his way.
I could have forgotten all about it, but I haven't.
I could have given him a couple bucks, but told him for the money he had to listen to me for two minutes. If he agreed, I could have given him one of the lectures I've made famous with my son, step-son, the boys I led in Scouting and the kids I led in Sunday School.
"You are always in the palm of God's hand. Doing what's right and what's wrong is a choice. If you try hard and do your best, you can become whatever you want to be. Surround yourself with good people. If anyone is hurting you, tell a trusted adult. Never forget, the world is full of love and happiness and you can choose to be part of that love and happiness."
While I wonder if giving a kid $2 and saying some words would be at all helpful, I do know that in this world, me giving a kid $2 and talking to him can be seen in a way that can be twisted into something sick and dreadful. People who want to help others in this world need to be careful how they do it. The way the world is, the days of lecturing the youth in the public is over.
I'm left thinking of this kid and his life and all of the kind, helpful words he has not received. I wonder who has failed? I wonder what possibly can be done to fix it for him and everyone else?
I go back to starting with kind words. Over time, they're the only thing that's going to help everybody. If you want to find the good in people, listen to the words they say and decide if, even if they have to be tough or address evil, they are delivered in a kind way. Anyone can spew anger. It takes a thoughtful, wise person to confront anger and negativity with positivity and righteousness.
- Matt Johnson is publisher of the Monroe Times. His column is
published Wednesdays.
It can multiply. It can be something far greater than the effort it took to deliver. It can change lives.
It's important that we shape our lives on kind words. It's important that we shape our criticisms with the thought that they can be delivered in kindness.
The reason this is necessary is shown by the weight an angry statement can carry. A word said in anger with malice can also last forever. Think of how powerful negativity and anger can be. How many kind words are needed to erase angry, hurtful words?
I grew up going from a normal 2-year-old to a plump 5-year-old and an obese 8-year-old. People can hide many of their struggles from others. You can't hide how you appear. Whether you're big, small, short or tall - whether your hair is bright orange or you have a birthmark or scar that's in plain sight - that's what people see. When I was young - and then for my entire life - I've been big.
I wonder how I would have turned out if I would have let all the negative words about my size be the things that shaped who I was. Certainly, they had an impact. I've come to understand this - everybody has issues about how they appear. No matter if you're told you're the most beautiful person on earth, there are imperfections. Sometimes we're the only people who see them - and that's enough.
All of the money and beauty in the world don't stop people from having problems.
While being blasted from every side while growing up with the barbs with which only a big kid can relate, I somehow hung onto the positive stuff that came my way.
I was able to grow up being a part of organizations focused on building character and self-esteem. I was a Cub Scout. I never won the Pinewood Derby, and I didn't earn some badges that the others earned, but I did earn the Arrow of Light - the highest award in Cub Scouting. I'm not tooting my horn over what I did when I was 10 years old. I barely remember crossing the bridge or the Blue and Gold Banquet when the ceremony was held. What I remember about Cub Scouts is being with kind people and the motto "Do Your Best."
My last den leader was a man who worked at the plant in Janesville and never had a can of Old Style too far from his hand. What I remember the most about him is that he didn't get angry and didn't say an angry word. How he remained so calm with a den of about nine rambunctious 10-year-olds is beyond me.
I remember a man on my paper route who was disabled, walked with a cane and had a tracheotomy. He wasn't a rich man, and he was up there in years. If he wanted to, he could have closed his door and escaped the world. Instead, in the cold of winter, he would open his door, tell me his hunting stories and talk about one of my favorite subjects - guns. He shared his kindness, when other people in much nicer homes with much more expensive cars, never said a word to me.
It's hard to believe that in the 1970s kids could go door-to-door and meet people and talk. Now we can't let our kids go anywhere that's not pre-approved and where we know everything is safe. This is an example of what we have lost by letting anger and evil triumph over good and kindness. I don't have an explanation or a cure. Our world has changed so much. I do diagnose it as this - too much anger.
How do we fix that? We have to start with ourselves. What do we say? What do we do? Are we an example of the world we want?
A few months ago, a middle schooler, who had been hanging around my apartment building, asked me for some pocket change. I've seen this kid before. The first time I ran into him he had a marijuana pipe and marijuana in a bag in his hand. Am I going to give this kid any money? No, I'm not. I told him I didn't have any and sent him on his way.
I could have forgotten all about it, but I haven't.
I could have given him a couple bucks, but told him for the money he had to listen to me for two minutes. If he agreed, I could have given him one of the lectures I've made famous with my son, step-son, the boys I led in Scouting and the kids I led in Sunday School.
"You are always in the palm of God's hand. Doing what's right and what's wrong is a choice. If you try hard and do your best, you can become whatever you want to be. Surround yourself with good people. If anyone is hurting you, tell a trusted adult. Never forget, the world is full of love and happiness and you can choose to be part of that love and happiness."
While I wonder if giving a kid $2 and saying some words would be at all helpful, I do know that in this world, me giving a kid $2 and talking to him can be seen in a way that can be twisted into something sick and dreadful. People who want to help others in this world need to be careful how they do it. The way the world is, the days of lecturing the youth in the public is over.
I'm left thinking of this kid and his life and all of the kind, helpful words he has not received. I wonder who has failed? I wonder what possibly can be done to fix it for him and everyone else?
I go back to starting with kind words. Over time, they're the only thing that's going to help everybody. If you want to find the good in people, listen to the words they say and decide if, even if they have to be tough or address evil, they are delivered in a kind way. Anyone can spew anger. It takes a thoughtful, wise person to confront anger and negativity with positivity and righteousness.
- Matt Johnson is publisher of the Monroe Times. His column is
published Wednesdays.
