It seems like just yesterday I was walking my son into his first day of kindergarten. Now he's a member of the Class of 2018.
My wife and I have two sons who are seniors in high school. One is my biological son, Derek, and another is her biological son, Griffin. During their high school years, we've been together for much of it as one family. My wife and I are both feeling the pinch of those high school years coming to an end.
It's not easy.
Brenda and I came together as our sons were in confirmation together and we were both single parents. Not only were we single parents, but we both had our children full time. We've devoted a lot to parenting and out of that devotion, we've developed strong relationships with our children.
Many times, as young men reach the age of their independence, they are full of rebellion and feel angst against their parents - especially their fathers. This is natural as every man or woman wants to be their own person. Instead of growing apart from our children, we've grown together. This makes impending change difficult.
I got a taste of being an empty-nester last summer when Derek went to Army Basic Training between his junior and senior years of high school. He was gone the entire summer. He didn't have access to a cellphone.
He had to find his way on his own - and he succeeded. He graduated from basic training and spent this school year not only being a student but also being attached to an Army Reserve Unit in Milwaukee.
Brenda's son, Griffin, is older for his class as he will turn 19 in July. He shows a higher degree of maturity. He's worked in a cafe washing dishes and cooking for years. He bought his own car and runs his own bank account.
I believe our children are like any others. They're not perfect. They're trying to find their path in life. They have plans for the future. They both enjoy their friends and are aware their senior years are coming to an end.
I had a great time in high school in the 1980s. I gathered a great number of friends, and several of us have formed a tight group that talks on Messenger every day. We get together several times a year. We revisit old memories and make new ones.
I have a hard time getting over my dreams.
I will be dreaming about being back in high school and playing hockey - a recurring theme. I'm with my friends and we're on the ice, practicing or playing. In the dream, we're either in a big game or getting ready for one.
When I wake up, I go from that dream stage when I'm 18, to present day when it's 5:45 a.m., I'm 49 years old and there are no more hockey games ... I miss that.
Griffin and Derek have been athletic in high school, yet they haven't played spring sports since Derek went out for track as a freshman. This year they've decided, separately, they're going to give tennis a try. As I told my wife when this news came out, we have no expectations either boy will become Rod Laver. Griffin played basketball and should have some good court awareness. Derek played football and wrestled; it will be interesting to see how he fits into the tennis mold.
I've been aware of the potential for a senior slide for both boys. Derek has been particularly susceptible, because he had three bouts with the flu this winter and missed a lot of school. I've quizzed him thoroughly, "Do you really want to go out for tennis during your last two months of high school?" At the moment, he's convinced and has turned in his paperwork. Griffin, meanwhile, has been practicing with friends for the last month.
Brenda and I have always encouraged extracurricular involvement for Griffin and Derek. Griffin is in the band and has been active in pep band appearances regularly. Derek is in choir and has earned Badger Conference and Dorian honors for his vocal performances. Again, they're like most other kids, finding interesting things to do while they study things like algebra, chemistry and English. Apparently neither of them are aware of how bad a groin pull can be from chasing a tennis ball on asphalt. Like many other parents, Brenda and I pray the boys can get through this last sports season with no major physical ailment.
Meanwhile, as the boys are excited about tennis and finishing up school, Brenda and I talk about what's next for us. Both boys are planning to receive post-secondary schooling with Derek's path being clearer than Griffin's at the moment, but that will shape up shortly. Brenda and I will have more time to devote to our joint hobbies and our relationship, for which we're happy.
But you never stop being a parent. Many parents with seniors can feel this big change in life coming. I knew watching the kids grow up would go by fast. I'm still amazed that everything has seemingly happened in a blink.
Although I dream about high school, I wouldn't want to go back. It, like many things in life, was hard to do the first time. I've had that experience, and my life is about the here and now. That means watching my children prepare for graduation.
- Matt Johnson is publisher of the Monroe Times. His column is
published Wednesdays.
My wife and I have two sons who are seniors in high school. One is my biological son, Derek, and another is her biological son, Griffin. During their high school years, we've been together for much of it as one family. My wife and I are both feeling the pinch of those high school years coming to an end.
It's not easy.
Brenda and I came together as our sons were in confirmation together and we were both single parents. Not only were we single parents, but we both had our children full time. We've devoted a lot to parenting and out of that devotion, we've developed strong relationships with our children.
Many times, as young men reach the age of their independence, they are full of rebellion and feel angst against their parents - especially their fathers. This is natural as every man or woman wants to be their own person. Instead of growing apart from our children, we've grown together. This makes impending change difficult.
I got a taste of being an empty-nester last summer when Derek went to Army Basic Training between his junior and senior years of high school. He was gone the entire summer. He didn't have access to a cellphone.
He had to find his way on his own - and he succeeded. He graduated from basic training and spent this school year not only being a student but also being attached to an Army Reserve Unit in Milwaukee.
Brenda's son, Griffin, is older for his class as he will turn 19 in July. He shows a higher degree of maturity. He's worked in a cafe washing dishes and cooking for years. He bought his own car and runs his own bank account.
I believe our children are like any others. They're not perfect. They're trying to find their path in life. They have plans for the future. They both enjoy their friends and are aware their senior years are coming to an end.
I had a great time in high school in the 1980s. I gathered a great number of friends, and several of us have formed a tight group that talks on Messenger every day. We get together several times a year. We revisit old memories and make new ones.
I have a hard time getting over my dreams.
I will be dreaming about being back in high school and playing hockey - a recurring theme. I'm with my friends and we're on the ice, practicing or playing. In the dream, we're either in a big game or getting ready for one.
When I wake up, I go from that dream stage when I'm 18, to present day when it's 5:45 a.m., I'm 49 years old and there are no more hockey games ... I miss that.
Griffin and Derek have been athletic in high school, yet they haven't played spring sports since Derek went out for track as a freshman. This year they've decided, separately, they're going to give tennis a try. As I told my wife when this news came out, we have no expectations either boy will become Rod Laver. Griffin played basketball and should have some good court awareness. Derek played football and wrestled; it will be interesting to see how he fits into the tennis mold.
I've been aware of the potential for a senior slide for both boys. Derek has been particularly susceptible, because he had three bouts with the flu this winter and missed a lot of school. I've quizzed him thoroughly, "Do you really want to go out for tennis during your last two months of high school?" At the moment, he's convinced and has turned in his paperwork. Griffin, meanwhile, has been practicing with friends for the last month.
Brenda and I have always encouraged extracurricular involvement for Griffin and Derek. Griffin is in the band and has been active in pep band appearances regularly. Derek is in choir and has earned Badger Conference and Dorian honors for his vocal performances. Again, they're like most other kids, finding interesting things to do while they study things like algebra, chemistry and English. Apparently neither of them are aware of how bad a groin pull can be from chasing a tennis ball on asphalt. Like many other parents, Brenda and I pray the boys can get through this last sports season with no major physical ailment.
Meanwhile, as the boys are excited about tennis and finishing up school, Brenda and I talk about what's next for us. Both boys are planning to receive post-secondary schooling with Derek's path being clearer than Griffin's at the moment, but that will shape up shortly. Brenda and I will have more time to devote to our joint hobbies and our relationship, for which we're happy.
But you never stop being a parent. Many parents with seniors can feel this big change in life coming. I knew watching the kids grow up would go by fast. I'm still amazed that everything has seemingly happened in a blink.
Although I dream about high school, I wouldn't want to go back. It, like many things in life, was hard to do the first time. I've had that experience, and my life is about the here and now. That means watching my children prepare for graduation.
- Matt Johnson is publisher of the Monroe Times. His column is
published Wednesdays.
