It's a day of hearts, happiness, warmth and passion - today is Valentine's Day.
It can also be a day where a person feels lonely.
I spent about 10 of the Valentine's Days in my adult life alone. Through my dating years and adult years, I've not always had a spouse or special someone. While on some occasions I celebrated this with the rest of the lonely-hearts club at my local tavern, other occasions I simply had to grin and bear it.
When you're young and single it's possible to carry on knowing there are friends your age who are also young and single. As people pair themselves off in their somewhat mid-to-late 20s, the lonely-hearts club seems to shrink. Pretty soon there's just you, eating a pizza, watching a movie on Valentine's Day evening.
Just before I turned 30, I prayed to God to bring love into my life.
God answers prayers.
Within 18 months, I had both a spouse and a baby son. I had no idea what kind of a roller-coaster ride God had planned for me through that time to this, but I can say he has roundly taught me what love is and what it is to have a full life.
Having a partner is about more than filling the void on a day such as Valentine's Day. Having a partner is making a deal that you will do your best to be a good partner. It's a commitment to sharing all of the things inside you with your partner, so you can understand each other. It's about honesty. It's about putting another person as far first as you possibly can.
I'll admit I don't have a "Leave it to Beaver" life. I have a real life.
Not all good things last forever, and the mother of my son and I split up after being together seven years. I have always spent a great deal of time with my son. I have been his primary parent, and he's grown up with me. The blessing I was given wasn't necessarily to be a partner to the mother of my son, but instead to be a good father to my son. For many years I put all of my love and devotion into that relationship. My son received some of my best years, and I never felt lonely on Valentine's Day.
As my son has grown and started needing me less, I received another blessing and found my wife, Brenda.
Brenda had been previously married and raised two sons. The oldest of those two sons tragically died in a prom-night car crash in 2010. Brenda and her youngest son, Griffin, went to the same church as myself and my son. Brenda and I were at church together as the boys neared Confirmation. Messenger and Facebook exchanges between us led me to ask Brenda to see the fireworks on July 4, 2014. Brenda and I were married on July 25, 2015.
In Brenda, I have found a partner who loves me for who I am and who is understanding and kind. I try to return this kindness and understanding. We've made our deal, and I have someone to say "I love you" to everyday. I gained a step-son, who I had known through almost his whole life, in Griffin.
I'm blessed with a full family and love.
Sounds like I fell onto a heart-shaped pillow, where I could stay the rest of my life.
Brenda and I began a family Odyssey in November 2016. I took this job in Monroe, while she remained committed to her job teaching in Viroqua. We did what we could to make a career change for me while Griffin finished his junior and senior years of high school. We talked about the positives and negatives. We talked to Derek and Griffin. Derek wanted to come to Monroe with me. Griffin wanted to finish school in Viroqua.
For what seems like a long time, my wife and I have lived apart. It's been more than a year filled with weekend traveling and both of us tending to our children in their final year of high school. Our plan is for Brenda to join me this summer as our sons prepare to go to college.
I have missed my wife more than I imagined, and we were both prepared for a lot when we put ourselves in this situation.
This Valentine's Day I think about the love in my life, and I'm grateful for it. When I was born, my parents looked down on me with love. I have been loved throughout my life. Thinking about moments raising my son brings quick tears of joy and fond remembrances to me. Thinking about my wife brings an overwhelming feeling of gratefulness.
- Matt Johnson is publisher of the Monroe Times. His column is published Wednesdays.
It can also be a day where a person feels lonely.
I spent about 10 of the Valentine's Days in my adult life alone. Through my dating years and adult years, I've not always had a spouse or special someone. While on some occasions I celebrated this with the rest of the lonely-hearts club at my local tavern, other occasions I simply had to grin and bear it.
When you're young and single it's possible to carry on knowing there are friends your age who are also young and single. As people pair themselves off in their somewhat mid-to-late 20s, the lonely-hearts club seems to shrink. Pretty soon there's just you, eating a pizza, watching a movie on Valentine's Day evening.
Just before I turned 30, I prayed to God to bring love into my life.
God answers prayers.
Within 18 months, I had both a spouse and a baby son. I had no idea what kind of a roller-coaster ride God had planned for me through that time to this, but I can say he has roundly taught me what love is and what it is to have a full life.
Having a partner is about more than filling the void on a day such as Valentine's Day. Having a partner is making a deal that you will do your best to be a good partner. It's a commitment to sharing all of the things inside you with your partner, so you can understand each other. It's about honesty. It's about putting another person as far first as you possibly can.
I'll admit I don't have a "Leave it to Beaver" life. I have a real life.
Not all good things last forever, and the mother of my son and I split up after being together seven years. I have always spent a great deal of time with my son. I have been his primary parent, and he's grown up with me. The blessing I was given wasn't necessarily to be a partner to the mother of my son, but instead to be a good father to my son. For many years I put all of my love and devotion into that relationship. My son received some of my best years, and I never felt lonely on Valentine's Day.
As my son has grown and started needing me less, I received another blessing and found my wife, Brenda.
Brenda had been previously married and raised two sons. The oldest of those two sons tragically died in a prom-night car crash in 2010. Brenda and her youngest son, Griffin, went to the same church as myself and my son. Brenda and I were at church together as the boys neared Confirmation. Messenger and Facebook exchanges between us led me to ask Brenda to see the fireworks on July 4, 2014. Brenda and I were married on July 25, 2015.
In Brenda, I have found a partner who loves me for who I am and who is understanding and kind. I try to return this kindness and understanding. We've made our deal, and I have someone to say "I love you" to everyday. I gained a step-son, who I had known through almost his whole life, in Griffin.
I'm blessed with a full family and love.
Sounds like I fell onto a heart-shaped pillow, where I could stay the rest of my life.
Brenda and I began a family Odyssey in November 2016. I took this job in Monroe, while she remained committed to her job teaching in Viroqua. We did what we could to make a career change for me while Griffin finished his junior and senior years of high school. We talked about the positives and negatives. We talked to Derek and Griffin. Derek wanted to come to Monroe with me. Griffin wanted to finish school in Viroqua.
For what seems like a long time, my wife and I have lived apart. It's been more than a year filled with weekend traveling and both of us tending to our children in their final year of high school. Our plan is for Brenda to join me this summer as our sons prepare to go to college.
I have missed my wife more than I imagined, and we were both prepared for a lot when we put ourselves in this situation.
This Valentine's Day I think about the love in my life, and I'm grateful for it. When I was born, my parents looked down on me with love. I have been loved throughout my life. Thinking about moments raising my son brings quick tears of joy and fond remembrances to me. Thinking about my wife brings an overwhelming feeling of gratefulness.
- Matt Johnson is publisher of the Monroe Times. His column is published Wednesdays.
