Not too long ago I stumbled upon the most interesting article. It was about a shipwreck survivor who had been rescued after spending weeks adrift. Although the lifeboat was stocked with water and provisions, the man was utterly alone until his rescue. The point of the article was simple and straightforward: How many of us have gone even one day without any human contact?
Think about it - what would it be like to go days or weeks without one human conversation, one phone call or text message or e-mail? The thought of being alone is daunting and scary! We text, we chat online, we talk while we drive, heck there's even Twitter, the instant micro-blogging service that gives anyone the false illusion that they actually are popular. I, for one, have traveled overseas by myself on several occasions, setting down in foreign countries where I did not know a soul. It is a very humbling experience to be alone.
About two weeks ago I made a point to be alone. It was my wedding day, and I had just spent the preceding two months caught up in a whirlwind of social activity. For two months I had survived on energy drinks and fast food - seriously, if you own stock in Monster, you'd better sell now. Between orchestrating construction projects on our house, designing and completing artistic landscaping for the site of the actual wedding ceremony, painting, and, oh yeah, running a dairy farm, I was exhausted!
Thus, it was early one Saturday morning in August that I sought out some alone time. Out on the deck of our house, I watched the night sky fade to dawn. I saw the beauty in the fire-lit wisps of clouds, the majesty of the daybreak as the sun slowly rose on a glorious day. For nearly an hour I collected my thoughts, unaware that my wife-to-be was having much the same experience at her mother's house, miles away. On this morning I enjoyed a moment of solitude, collecting my thoughts and organizing in my head what needed to transpire over the next nine hours. Any minute now, my friends and family would show up to help set up for the ceremony, and organized chaos would ensue as we scrambled. From my vantage point I looked out over the front lawn, the site of the wedding. In nine hours the following jobs needed to be completed: mow and bag the lawn, weed-trim, set up the tent, arrange chairs under the tent, set up tables and chairs for dinner, decorate tables, arrange flowers, mow and mark parking area in adjacent grassland, set up catered buffet, and, oh yeah, I should probably shower, shave off my week-old scruff and get dressed. By now dawn had broken, so I rose from my meditation, infinitely grateful to my new pal God that it was not raining.
In the months leading up to our wedding, Ashley and I discovered the most hysterical statistic. Do you know the average cost of an American wedding? In 2009, the average wedding in the United States will cost about $28,000. I have to ask, where are these people getting married? The moon?
For our wedding, Ashley and I sought to include as many personal, meaningful touches as possible. The ceremony itself occurred in the front lawn of our newly purchased home, under the massive willow tree that continues to defy all laws of gravity (and lightning). Since the relations that we have with people is what defines us, we attempted to include as many of our close friends as possible. For example, music was provided by our friend Chris, with whom we stayed in Manhattan - he plays a mean guitar. Even my brother was able to attend, having recently been allowed leave from his Navy deployment. I must take this opportunity to point out that he is somewhat of a celebrity; he was recently featured on "The View," and made me promise not to tell you that you can view the clip at youtube.com - just do a keyword search of "Wegmueller." He DOES look good in his uniform, doesn't he?!
I mentioned earlier that the average American wedding costs more than a down payment on a house. As of yet, Ashley and I have not totaled our bills, but I can assure you that the final figure will be a fraction of that. This is relevant, because there seems to be an unjust emphasis on glitz and glamour, both of which were absent that Saturday afternoon. Like my mother pointed out, you could spend a million bucks on a wedding, and still something could go wrong. We spent next to nothing, and the only hang-up was a humorous bout at the wine toast: There we were, all set to give the speech, when it was revealed that none of the tables had been set with corkscrews. I scrambled to find my bottle opener, even a Swiss Army Knife, anything! Turns out, wine bottles now come with twist-off caps. Brilliant!
Well, friends, I started this article with a somewhat depressing thought about loneliness. I would like to end with the opposite. Since the ceremony, I have been asked how married life is treating me? It feels great - the stability, the companionship, and security that underscore a good marriage are beautiful things. Plus, I will add, that after nearly two weeks, we've still got it!
- Dan Wegmueller is a columnist for The Monroe Times. He can be reached at dwegs@tds.net.
Think about it - what would it be like to go days or weeks without one human conversation, one phone call or text message or e-mail? The thought of being alone is daunting and scary! We text, we chat online, we talk while we drive, heck there's even Twitter, the instant micro-blogging service that gives anyone the false illusion that they actually are popular. I, for one, have traveled overseas by myself on several occasions, setting down in foreign countries where I did not know a soul. It is a very humbling experience to be alone.
About two weeks ago I made a point to be alone. It was my wedding day, and I had just spent the preceding two months caught up in a whirlwind of social activity. For two months I had survived on energy drinks and fast food - seriously, if you own stock in Monster, you'd better sell now. Between orchestrating construction projects on our house, designing and completing artistic landscaping for the site of the actual wedding ceremony, painting, and, oh yeah, running a dairy farm, I was exhausted!
Thus, it was early one Saturday morning in August that I sought out some alone time. Out on the deck of our house, I watched the night sky fade to dawn. I saw the beauty in the fire-lit wisps of clouds, the majesty of the daybreak as the sun slowly rose on a glorious day. For nearly an hour I collected my thoughts, unaware that my wife-to-be was having much the same experience at her mother's house, miles away. On this morning I enjoyed a moment of solitude, collecting my thoughts and organizing in my head what needed to transpire over the next nine hours. Any minute now, my friends and family would show up to help set up for the ceremony, and organized chaos would ensue as we scrambled. From my vantage point I looked out over the front lawn, the site of the wedding. In nine hours the following jobs needed to be completed: mow and bag the lawn, weed-trim, set up the tent, arrange chairs under the tent, set up tables and chairs for dinner, decorate tables, arrange flowers, mow and mark parking area in adjacent grassland, set up catered buffet, and, oh yeah, I should probably shower, shave off my week-old scruff and get dressed. By now dawn had broken, so I rose from my meditation, infinitely grateful to my new pal God that it was not raining.
In the months leading up to our wedding, Ashley and I discovered the most hysterical statistic. Do you know the average cost of an American wedding? In 2009, the average wedding in the United States will cost about $28,000. I have to ask, where are these people getting married? The moon?
For our wedding, Ashley and I sought to include as many personal, meaningful touches as possible. The ceremony itself occurred in the front lawn of our newly purchased home, under the massive willow tree that continues to defy all laws of gravity (and lightning). Since the relations that we have with people is what defines us, we attempted to include as many of our close friends as possible. For example, music was provided by our friend Chris, with whom we stayed in Manhattan - he plays a mean guitar. Even my brother was able to attend, having recently been allowed leave from his Navy deployment. I must take this opportunity to point out that he is somewhat of a celebrity; he was recently featured on "The View," and made me promise not to tell you that you can view the clip at youtube.com - just do a keyword search of "Wegmueller." He DOES look good in his uniform, doesn't he?!
I mentioned earlier that the average American wedding costs more than a down payment on a house. As of yet, Ashley and I have not totaled our bills, but I can assure you that the final figure will be a fraction of that. This is relevant, because there seems to be an unjust emphasis on glitz and glamour, both of which were absent that Saturday afternoon. Like my mother pointed out, you could spend a million bucks on a wedding, and still something could go wrong. We spent next to nothing, and the only hang-up was a humorous bout at the wine toast: There we were, all set to give the speech, when it was revealed that none of the tables had been set with corkscrews. I scrambled to find my bottle opener, even a Swiss Army Knife, anything! Turns out, wine bottles now come with twist-off caps. Brilliant!
Well, friends, I started this article with a somewhat depressing thought about loneliness. I would like to end with the opposite. Since the ceremony, I have been asked how married life is treating me? It feels great - the stability, the companionship, and security that underscore a good marriage are beautiful things. Plus, I will add, that after nearly two weeks, we've still got it!
- Dan Wegmueller is a columnist for The Monroe Times. He can be reached at dwegs@tds.net.
