Domestic violence and the connection to child abuse have long been established. We have been given an up-front perspective this week, as the sad story of intimate partner violence and child abuse are unfolding in the Green County Courthouse.
According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, 40 to 60 percent of men who abuse their wives or girlfriends also abuse children in their care. Sadly, many of these cases have generational components to them. Children are very well aware of anger and violence between the adults in their homes. It is a sad myth that "the kids don't know what is happening, they don't see anything." They "learn" from watching and listening to the adults in their world how to relate to others and how love is shown.
It is human nature for us to want to protect ourselves from this threat. It also is human nature to feel immune because of your income, church affiliation, social status, etc. Domestic violence and abuse can and does happen in all cultures, and across all economic and demographic barriers. More than 470 people reached out to Green Haven Family Advocates in 2007. Also impacted by the violence in their homes and lives were the two children (average) who came with each adult. Many concerned family members reach out to us for advice and support in helping a sibling, child, parent, or friend who find they are experiencing violence or abuse in a relationship. They say they never thought something like "this" could happen to them or someone they know. We hear "our family doesn't behave this way, I don't understand." Families already buckling under the weight of domestic violence in the best of times can collapse in times of economic downturn and war. Financial stress is correlated with higher levels of domestic and intimate partner violence.
Whatever the court outcome of this trial, an innocent life and promise of a 2-month-old child is lost to each of us and that should be enough of a call for change. Domestic violence is not a private family matter, it is a plague that requires a community response, it is a public health crisis. Christopher Shelton's death is a profound tragedy that only will be compounded if it is viewed as one occurrence happening only to "those people." Because, trust me, "those people" are all around, impacting our lives on a daily basis keeping law enforcement, hospital emergency departments, court systems and social services agencies (to name but a few) very busy.
If you or someone you know is in a violent relationship or has abuse affecting their life, please reach out for information or assistance. Green Haven staff is available 24 hours a day, seven days a week to confidentially assist you. Call the crisis line (608) 325-7711 or go to our Web site www.greenhaven4help.com for safety planning information. If you would like to help us create peaceful homes in Green County, please call our business line (608) 325-6489 or visit our Web site www.greenhaven4help.com. Green Haven Family Advocates is a community-based, nonprofit organization dedicated to strengthening the individuals and families of Green County affected by abuse and violence through prevention education, advocacy, support and services.
According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, 40 to 60 percent of men who abuse their wives or girlfriends also abuse children in their care. Sadly, many of these cases have generational components to them. Children are very well aware of anger and violence between the adults in their homes. It is a sad myth that "the kids don't know what is happening, they don't see anything." They "learn" from watching and listening to the adults in their world how to relate to others and how love is shown.
It is human nature for us to want to protect ourselves from this threat. It also is human nature to feel immune because of your income, church affiliation, social status, etc. Domestic violence and abuse can and does happen in all cultures, and across all economic and demographic barriers. More than 470 people reached out to Green Haven Family Advocates in 2007. Also impacted by the violence in their homes and lives were the two children (average) who came with each adult. Many concerned family members reach out to us for advice and support in helping a sibling, child, parent, or friend who find they are experiencing violence or abuse in a relationship. They say they never thought something like "this" could happen to them or someone they know. We hear "our family doesn't behave this way, I don't understand." Families already buckling under the weight of domestic violence in the best of times can collapse in times of economic downturn and war. Financial stress is correlated with higher levels of domestic and intimate partner violence.
Whatever the court outcome of this trial, an innocent life and promise of a 2-month-old child is lost to each of us and that should be enough of a call for change. Domestic violence is not a private family matter, it is a plague that requires a community response, it is a public health crisis. Christopher Shelton's death is a profound tragedy that only will be compounded if it is viewed as one occurrence happening only to "those people." Because, trust me, "those people" are all around, impacting our lives on a daily basis keeping law enforcement, hospital emergency departments, court systems and social services agencies (to name but a few) very busy.
If you or someone you know is in a violent relationship or has abuse affecting their life, please reach out for information or assistance. Green Haven staff is available 24 hours a day, seven days a week to confidentially assist you. Call the crisis line (608) 325-7711 or go to our Web site www.greenhaven4help.com for safety planning information. If you would like to help us create peaceful homes in Green County, please call our business line (608) 325-6489 or visit our Web site www.greenhaven4help.com. Green Haven Family Advocates is a community-based, nonprofit organization dedicated to strengthening the individuals and families of Green County affected by abuse and violence through prevention education, advocacy, support and services.
