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Trend: Fewer people getting married
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Times photo: Brenda Steurer Tacara Krebs prepares for her upcoming wedding by looking through wedding dresses Friday at Julies Bridal Gallery in Monroe. Tacara and her fianc Matt Stamm plan to be married Sept. 25 in Argyle.
MONROE -The number of new marriages in Wisconsin again declined last year, according to the Wisconsin Department of Health Services.

In 2009, 30,057 people in Wisconsin were married, compared to 31,444 in 2008. The state reported that the number of marriages in the state has continued to decline since 1980. In 1980, there were 41,113 marriages in Wisconsin.

In Green County, there were 169 marriages in 2009. The highest number of marriages, 35, took place in August. June was the second highest month for marriages with 27.

Lafayette County had 79 marriages in 2009. October was the most popular month for a wedding with 16 marriages.

Across the state, the most popular months for weddings were June, August and September.

Other findings from the department's report showed that the median age for first marriages in 2009 was 25.5 years for women and 27.1 years for men. In 1960, the median age at first marriage was 20.4 years for women and 22.9 years for men.

While there is no great secret to make a marriage last, there are some things that couples can do to help their marriage be successful.

Dr. Bill Frey, Monroe, and his wife, Mary, have been married for 60 years. Over a game of bridge at Behring Senior Center, he said the secret for a successful marriage is simple.

"Keep your mouth shut, and let her think she's in charge," he laughed.

Marriage is about communication, local pastors who counsel couples say.

"You have to save time for each other," the Rev. Mike Heath of St. John's United Church of Christ said. "The demands on people are so varied and so numerous."

Heath and the Rev. Gretchen Sylvester counsel couples who plan to get married. They said people who get counseling before they get married learn the strengths in their relationships and also the areas that require more work.

"Studies show that if a couple has a chance to talk about things before they get married they have a better chance of staying together," Sylvester said.

Sylvester said couples should talk about such things as budgets, extended families, plans and goals and even how many children they plan to have to help learn about each other.

"A lot of people don't talk about those things," she said. "You have to learn to balance things."

Heath said people often talk about being in love, but they refer to only the English definition, which means "intense attraction."

The Greeks have three translations for the word, he said.

The first translation refers to attraction and a sense of passion; the second refers to a friendship that replaces the initial passion; and the third refers to a "rock solid commitment," that allows a couple to face difficult times.

That "rock solid commitment" can be difficult to achieve: There were 16,705 divorces in the state 2009, compared to 16,885 in 2008.

Green County recorded 104 divorces in 2009, while Lafayette County recorded 37 divorces.