MONROE - I grew up a city girl in Madison, so I've missed out - until now - on the concentration of locally-produced gluttony that is a county fair. Sure, I've had the pickle-on-a-stick at Summerfest and snarfed down an elephant ear once or twice. But I've never done it in the proximity of barns full of grunting pigs and mooing calves.
So on the opening day of the Green County Fair, I took on the extremely weighty and pressing assignment of sampling the best fair grub. The fairest of the fare, if you will.
Armed with $25, Times photographer Anthony Wahl and I bombed our guts Wednesday, July 18 with as much food as possible. Our plan of attack was as follows, in this general order:
Corn-on-the-cob (VFW 2312), $1.50
World War II vet Alvin Riese is a little hard of hearing, so we had to ask him several times how many years he'd been manning the corn booth at the fair. Four decades, five decades? He couldn't quite remember. He dipped a perfectly tender corncob from Spring Green in a vat of melted butter and handed it to us dripping and salty.
Root beer float (4-H), $1.75
Here's your basic float: Monroe's own Blumer's root beer with a scoop of Cedar Crest vanilla ice cream. Take your time and let some of it melt into a fizzy soup the consistency of thick chocolate milk. It's better than it sounds, trust me.
Cream puff (Green County Ag Chest), $3
Bonnie Gerner of Argyle makes all the puffs for the fair, we're told, and because she does it all by hand, when the Ag Chest is out of puffs, they're out for good: "People should get here early." The puff is stuffed with enough Golden Guernsey cream filling for two people to share (or not, if you're feeling particularly wanton).
Brat (Kiwanis Club), $3
The best part of eating this brat is the "pop" of the first bite that releases a burst of juices. A bun is unnecessary but it serves as a useful vessel for heaps of sauerkraut and generous squirts of mustard and ketchup. I Hoovered mine right at the counter.
Schultz's Sugar River Kettle Corn, $3
First-time vendor Jim Schultz, Belleville, pops the biggest popcorn I've ever seen. Turns out he uses a variety of popcorn that produces "mushroom" flakes. The rest of the popcorn (about 5 percent) is engineered to produce the more common "butterfly" flakes. They're tossed in Wesson vegetable oil with just the right combo of sugar and salt. He sells his corn at Taste of Madison, University of Wisconsin football games and community festivals, but this is his first time at the Green County Fair. He's a talker, so ask him to tell you about his past life in the circus while he pops up a batch of kettle corn.
Green County FFA's Ton o' Brick sandwich, $3
"That's the white cheese without the holes," Kenneth Colle, president of the Monticello FFA Alumni, shouted out to his teen grillers when I ordered the grilled brick. The sandwich isn't a looker: it's flat and greasy. But it redeemed itself on the first bite. The gooey brick was just stinky enough to give the sandwich some kick.
Cheese curds (Monroe Optimists), $4
The Optimists' curds have a reputation, and with reason. I've had a lot of deep-fried cheese curds in my life. Baskets and baskets of them. Here's what's different about these: because the cheese is fresh (from Monroe's Maple Leaf factory), it's melty on the outside but retains a squeak inside. The batter is a "special formula just made for the Optimists," says member Tina Duemler, and it's a little thicker than most. If you try only one food at the fair, this is it.
Twisted soft-serve ice cream (Green County Ag Chest), $1.50
Whitney Brown, Belleville Dairy Queen, served us two chocolate and vanilla soft-serves made from a New Glarus Dairy mix. While we were sitting with some seventh-graders debating the differences between FFA and 4-H, I started to think about how much milk went into all the dairy products jostling around in my stomach at this point. Gallons, probably?
Bowl of watermelon (4-H), $1
The healthiest thing I ingested all day! And only for a buck, too. 4-H got these ripe and juicy red watermelons, some donated and some purchased, from Pilgrim's Pantry, an Amish store in South Wayne, and Brennan's Market. The watermelon dissolved the heavier fare already consumed some, but only to make room for more ...
Pork sandwich (Monroe Lions Club), $5
This hearty sandwich is served in a foil wrapper that keeps the bun nice and warm. I could eat barbecue sauce by the spoonful, so I squirted a big pool on the pork loin (from Pick 'n' Save, says Lions member Bill Kilian).
As we walked out of the fairgrounds, a glob of barbecue sauce fell off the sandwich onto my skirt. By this point, I'd given up on being presentable. It was almost 100 degrees out. My hands were sticky with cheese grease, barbecue sauce, ice cream smears, kettle corn grit and watermelon juice.
It felt like summer in Wisconsin.
So on the opening day of the Green County Fair, I took on the extremely weighty and pressing assignment of sampling the best fair grub. The fairest of the fare, if you will.
Armed with $25, Times photographer Anthony Wahl and I bombed our guts Wednesday, July 18 with as much food as possible. Our plan of attack was as follows, in this general order:
Corn-on-the-cob (VFW 2312), $1.50
World War II vet Alvin Riese is a little hard of hearing, so we had to ask him several times how many years he'd been manning the corn booth at the fair. Four decades, five decades? He couldn't quite remember. He dipped a perfectly tender corncob from Spring Green in a vat of melted butter and handed it to us dripping and salty.
Root beer float (4-H), $1.75
Here's your basic float: Monroe's own Blumer's root beer with a scoop of Cedar Crest vanilla ice cream. Take your time and let some of it melt into a fizzy soup the consistency of thick chocolate milk. It's better than it sounds, trust me.
Cream puff (Green County Ag Chest), $3
Bonnie Gerner of Argyle makes all the puffs for the fair, we're told, and because she does it all by hand, when the Ag Chest is out of puffs, they're out for good: "People should get here early." The puff is stuffed with enough Golden Guernsey cream filling for two people to share (or not, if you're feeling particularly wanton).
Brat (Kiwanis Club), $3
The best part of eating this brat is the "pop" of the first bite that releases a burst of juices. A bun is unnecessary but it serves as a useful vessel for heaps of sauerkraut and generous squirts of mustard and ketchup. I Hoovered mine right at the counter.
Schultz's Sugar River Kettle Corn, $3
First-time vendor Jim Schultz, Belleville, pops the biggest popcorn I've ever seen. Turns out he uses a variety of popcorn that produces "mushroom" flakes. The rest of the popcorn (about 5 percent) is engineered to produce the more common "butterfly" flakes. They're tossed in Wesson vegetable oil with just the right combo of sugar and salt. He sells his corn at Taste of Madison, University of Wisconsin football games and community festivals, but this is his first time at the Green County Fair. He's a talker, so ask him to tell you about his past life in the circus while he pops up a batch of kettle corn.
Green County FFA's Ton o' Brick sandwich, $3
"That's the white cheese without the holes," Kenneth Colle, president of the Monticello FFA Alumni, shouted out to his teen grillers when I ordered the grilled brick. The sandwich isn't a looker: it's flat and greasy. But it redeemed itself on the first bite. The gooey brick was just stinky enough to give the sandwich some kick.
Cheese curds (Monroe Optimists), $4
The Optimists' curds have a reputation, and with reason. I've had a lot of deep-fried cheese curds in my life. Baskets and baskets of them. Here's what's different about these: because the cheese is fresh (from Monroe's Maple Leaf factory), it's melty on the outside but retains a squeak inside. The batter is a "special formula just made for the Optimists," says member Tina Duemler, and it's a little thicker than most. If you try only one food at the fair, this is it.
Twisted soft-serve ice cream (Green County Ag Chest), $1.50
Whitney Brown, Belleville Dairy Queen, served us two chocolate and vanilla soft-serves made from a New Glarus Dairy mix. While we were sitting with some seventh-graders debating the differences between FFA and 4-H, I started to think about how much milk went into all the dairy products jostling around in my stomach at this point. Gallons, probably?
Bowl of watermelon (4-H), $1
The healthiest thing I ingested all day! And only for a buck, too. 4-H got these ripe and juicy red watermelons, some donated and some purchased, from Pilgrim's Pantry, an Amish store in South Wayne, and Brennan's Market. The watermelon dissolved the heavier fare already consumed some, but only to make room for more ...
Pork sandwich (Monroe Lions Club), $5
This hearty sandwich is served in a foil wrapper that keeps the bun nice and warm. I could eat barbecue sauce by the spoonful, so I squirted a big pool on the pork loin (from Pick 'n' Save, says Lions member Bill Kilian).
As we walked out of the fairgrounds, a glob of barbecue sauce fell off the sandwich onto my skirt. By this point, I'd given up on being presentable. It was almost 100 degrees out. My hands were sticky with cheese grease, barbecue sauce, ice cream smears, kettle corn grit and watermelon juice.
It felt like summer in Wisconsin.