MONROE - "I can't just sit here and leave my girls in danger," she thought.
Teri Jendusa-Nicolai, a Wisconsin native from Wind Lake, was sitting half naked, stuffed in a trash can, bloody from a beating with a baseball bat, with her hands and feet bound and her face wrapped in duct tape.
Her ex-husband, David Larsen, had left her in an Wheeling, Ill., storage unit in near zero weather Jan. 31, 2004, and took their two daughters, ages 2 and 4.
Nicolai lost all of her toes and her unborn child that night.
"That was nothing, compared to what could have been," she said.
Larsen is serving a life sentence for kidnapping across state lines and the death of the unborn child.
But Nicolai lives to tell the story of domestic abuse to thousands of people across the county. She makes about 32 presentations a year.
Nicolai presented her story to a standing room only audience Thursday at Blackhawk Technical College in Monroe. Several women in the audience said they were survivors of domestic abuse themselves.
Nicolai started speaking about domestic abuse as soon as she was released from the hospital in 2004. Her encouraging message to victims is to "believe in yourself and have faith in God." Her demeanor is one of strength and hope, backed up by her smiles and witty jokes.
"I like to tell people I put Wind Lake on the map," she laughed.
Wind Lake, southwest of Milwaukee, has a population of only 8,000. It is like many small communities.
"It does happen in your community," she said about domestic abuse.
Nicolai said her parents liked Larsen at first.
"But before I married, Mom said, 'I don't like his control,'" she said, and then she smiled. "Listen to Mom."
Nicolai said her marriage to Larsen was a classic example of emotional, psychological and physical abuse that started while on their honeymoon.
She explained how victims of abuse are torn down, controlled by their abuser and isolated from friends and family by their abusers. They are criticized and made to feel guilty and worthless.
She also described the effect Larsen's behavior had on their children. Their oldest daughter was only 2 when she hid under a table and covered her ears during one of his screaming tirades.
Larsen also pushed Nicolai down the stairs while she was holding their infant daughter.
It was after that incident that Nicolai said she started to seriously think about how she could leave.
"I need to get out, because I have two baby girls and I need to save their lives," she told herself. It was also at that time she started to fight back.
She called it her emergence.
After their divorce, Larsen had joint custody of the daughters. Nicolai received complete custody only after Larsen was sentenced to prison for his attempt to murder Nicolai.
After the divorce, Larsen frequently interfered with her jobs, intimidated her baby-sitters and refused to follow court orders.
"It was a struggle everyday," she said. He put up "stumbling blocks" ... "every single step of the way."
It is those struggles that cause victims who try to leave to think that they can't make it in the world on their own, she said.
Nicolai said she was once asked what she would like to say to Larsen today.
"In a very bizarre way, I have to thank him for being such a jerk," she said smiling. "Every time he hit me, I had to get back up. For all those hurdles he put me through, that I had to force myself to go through. Because I am stronger now because of what I had to endure. Thanks for making me stronger."
Besides a list of warning sign to watch for, Nicolai gave her audience a spark of confidence.
"Everything you go through is a stepping stone, a step up to a higher place," she told them.
Teri Jendusa-Nicolai, a Wisconsin native from Wind Lake, was sitting half naked, stuffed in a trash can, bloody from a beating with a baseball bat, with her hands and feet bound and her face wrapped in duct tape.
Her ex-husband, David Larsen, had left her in an Wheeling, Ill., storage unit in near zero weather Jan. 31, 2004, and took their two daughters, ages 2 and 4.
Nicolai lost all of her toes and her unborn child that night.
"That was nothing, compared to what could have been," she said.
Larsen is serving a life sentence for kidnapping across state lines and the death of the unborn child.
But Nicolai lives to tell the story of domestic abuse to thousands of people across the county. She makes about 32 presentations a year.
Nicolai presented her story to a standing room only audience Thursday at Blackhawk Technical College in Monroe. Several women in the audience said they were survivors of domestic abuse themselves.
Nicolai started speaking about domestic abuse as soon as she was released from the hospital in 2004. Her encouraging message to victims is to "believe in yourself and have faith in God." Her demeanor is one of strength and hope, backed up by her smiles and witty jokes.
"I like to tell people I put Wind Lake on the map," she laughed.
Wind Lake, southwest of Milwaukee, has a population of only 8,000. It is like many small communities.
"It does happen in your community," she said about domestic abuse.
Nicolai said her parents liked Larsen at first.
"But before I married, Mom said, 'I don't like his control,'" she said, and then she smiled. "Listen to Mom."
Nicolai said her marriage to Larsen was a classic example of emotional, psychological and physical abuse that started while on their honeymoon.
She explained how victims of abuse are torn down, controlled by their abuser and isolated from friends and family by their abusers. They are criticized and made to feel guilty and worthless.
She also described the effect Larsen's behavior had on their children. Their oldest daughter was only 2 when she hid under a table and covered her ears during one of his screaming tirades.
Larsen also pushed Nicolai down the stairs while she was holding their infant daughter.
It was after that incident that Nicolai said she started to seriously think about how she could leave.
"I need to get out, because I have two baby girls and I need to save their lives," she told herself. It was also at that time she started to fight back.
She called it her emergence.
After their divorce, Larsen had joint custody of the daughters. Nicolai received complete custody only after Larsen was sentenced to prison for his attempt to murder Nicolai.
After the divorce, Larsen frequently interfered with her jobs, intimidated her baby-sitters and refused to follow court orders.
"It was a struggle everyday," she said. He put up "stumbling blocks" ... "every single step of the way."
It is those struggles that cause victims who try to leave to think that they can't make it in the world on their own, she said.
Nicolai said she was once asked what she would like to say to Larsen today.
"In a very bizarre way, I have to thank him for being such a jerk," she said smiling. "Every time he hit me, I had to get back up. For all those hurdles he put me through, that I had to force myself to go through. Because I am stronger now because of what I had to endure. Thanks for making me stronger."
Besides a list of warning sign to watch for, Nicolai gave her audience a spark of confidence.
"Everything you go through is a stepping stone, a step up to a higher place," she told them.